Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
LiyIa_fml 8
Practice makes perfect?
RoboCunnilingus 23
On the bright side, at least she isn't giving them to someone else.
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Comments (199)
nanadaime_hokage 10
You have two girlfriends???
ElricMustang 23
Wow...
randomthing 22
No. Read the FML again :)
skullofdarkness 18
I really wish I could thumb up Allan's comment… but I guess the FML team doesn't like being liked. :/
Noxialis 10
Blasphemy!
SApprentice 34
Just talk with her, OP. I'm sure that if she's willing to do it for you and likes doing it then she would appreciate you letting her know what you specifically enjoy. Communication is key to any happy relationship. It's possible that you just don't get that much pleasure from oral sex, too. Plenty of people don't.
pumpkin_cookies 7
Practice makes perfect
littlemsweirdo 12
How do you give a bad *******?
annie_nk 23
Teeth, monotony, grabbing too hard, going too slow for too long.
pradip 26
You still have some time to worry about it.
AussieChild 22
39- you're 13, you shouldn't even know what a ******** is!
strawberrywine22 30
So teach her :) I was terrible at them for the longest time, but my husband started guiding me and telling me what he liked and didn't like. We have a system, if I do something he loves he taps me twice and if he doesn't like it he taps me once. Plus, you know...practice practice practice ;)
LetsBeRealistic 3
Lets be realisiic. U complainin over gettin ******** is just ridiculous. Teach her how to do it and get ober it
pradip 26
You are through with the tough part, now u just need to give some proper training. Also I don't think this is a FML situation for OP.
wubbazugg 5
Practice, practice, practice... Give her tips, tell her what feels good, the more you like it the more she will enjoy it.
writergirl23 19
Still luckier than a lot of guys mate.