Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML
Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML
Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML
Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he is homophobic. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if my mother wasn't a lesbian. He doesn't know this yet, and I'm afraid to tell him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Setcher 0
Look on the bright side, if the kid turns out to be a boy and if he becomes gay at least he has an accepting mother.
mintcar 10
YDI for not standing up to your wife. You're acting like her bitch. Go with a neutral color...or wait until you find out the sex of the baby.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
SkoalThugz 0
ydi for having a gay kid
Rape_Laser 0
that's dick
A7X_LoVeee 10
Someone's a homophobe.
aquariusangel420 0
Ok it doesn't ****** MATTER IF HES GAY but ur wife is a DUMB BITCH for trying to make him be gay because she likes the color pink! It's their decsion if they wanna be gay or not NOT YOURS and all y'all are assholes who don't like gay people their apart of the human race WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!!
robc32ca 4
#1 = birth control poster boy...
SkoalThugz 0
14= has the opposite genders genitals
MissBBGoodGirl 0
10- I think op just wants the child to have a choice, and not be forced into becoming gay. I'm sure op will accept the child for who he (or she) becomes gay or not :)
A7X_LoVeee 10
19 I was talking about #1's comment lol.
babyyappld 7
I feel as though op's wife was joking. either that or she's batshxt crazy
nalia18 8
that moms a bitch cause you cant help it who you love. tryna make him gay will probubly ruin his life forever. someone needs to smack some sence into that chick! unless he wants to make that desision for himself you shouldnt try to do that. paint it red or purple! guys and girls love red or purple!!! :DDD
eyez_lay_low1921 0
itz not the baby being gay, its curiosity.!! :D
at1325 0
I personally believe it is not the parents or the Child's choice. I believe that god made them that way. I sometimes wonder if god makes people that way as another form of human population control, because gay couples cannot produce children.
mintcar 10
13, calm down, sheesh.
mfmylifesrsly 30
59 - there's other ways gay couples can have children.. example: a lesbian gets a sperm donor
Siji 0
Pfft...Gay isn't a sexuality! Everyone knows that ;)
forza_italia88 2
59 - im not against the choices gay people make at all so dont take it the wrong way.. but god never intended for men to love men or women to love women in that way.. ever heard of soddom and gomorrah? im not religious myself but my whole family is and trust me i know this shit.. god destroyed cities that were full of sin and being gay was one of those sins.. i believe humans can do what they want and be who they want but people who believe god will still love them or whatever is full of shit
catatonicsleep 17
Yellow or green are good choices if you want it to be gender neutral. Historically though pink was a boy's colour and blue a girl's, since pink was related to the very masculine red.
UnknwnClassicGrl 5
Your wife is gay!
Snackbars 0
Everybodies gay! Seriously though, that's hilarious and I doubt she was being serious. She can't choose the boys sexuality for him either. When he can talk and complain about his pink walls then you should do something.
helloimbob 0
no I think the op is a boy talking to his child bearing wife.
IdontWanna69 8
Nothing wrong with being gay, if it's by choice anyways. Parents shouldn't dictate things like this, so I think the OP's is a crazy biatch :D
ImaWiseGuy 5
the room being pink couldn't have anything to do with the kid possibly being gay.....
FMLsOhilarious 6
What are you complaining about? Don't you know women know all?
mfmylifesrsly 30
LOL yeah right!
ImInABox 6
Poor little boy. Let's hope for his benefit that if he does end up gay, it's not going to be because of the pink room. Tell her she should sleep with one eye open- he may try to kill her for her attempt someday.
the_johawk 0
thats preety deep and evil for someone with a spongebob picture
Link5794 18
Have you seen the laughing Spongebob meme?
lil_ham1644 29
Are you seriously trying to say that room color has an effect on sexuality?? So if I have all gray walls will I be boring? If they are rainbow, will I be a hippie?
omgwtfbbq69 5
Well OP, looks like you'll be having a gay kid! Congratulations!! lol
Darkness_Hate 29
Watch out in the future..
Setcher 0
Look on the bright side, if the kid turns out to be a boy and if he becomes gay at least he has an accepting mother.
Setcher 0
*accepting
kaykay9080 5
Right! and what's so wrong with being gay?
tkdkid1095 10
agreed
sammy259 3
oh shit an angry gay kid the world is realky going to end by 2012
mintcar 10
YDI for not standing up to your wife. You're acting like her bitch. Go with a neutral color...or wait until you find out the sex of the baby.
maskedman 9
It's kind of silly but maybe she can feel the baby interior decorating her womb.