Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
LiyIa_fml 8
Practice makes perfect?
RoboCunnilingus 23
On the bright side, at least she isn't giving them to someone else.
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Comments (199)
redhedsaysrawr 18
Well you get better at them as you keep doing it, don't expect her to be amazing the first or second time, as she shouldn't expect you to be perfect when you're doing something like eating her out.
doglover100 29
That blows.
TergesteCity 12
Op you are insane, most gf just don't give bj, bad or good.
redneckEMT21 2
Your bitching about how your girl performs her ********? Maybe if she Is so terrible at it, You should have Your ex boyfriend teach her how to do it like you like it
savannahjewel9 5
The girlfriends are both the same person right?
eXangelice 15
Dude, you have to train that shit. She will only improve if you tell her what feels good, and what does not. She probably thinks you like them and has no idea she sucks at them. Seriously, most girls willing to go down are also willing to learn the proper technique. Teach her!
gregkingsley 4
At least she's getting ahead in life.
MexicanGinger 5
Blessed with a curse... Sorry op ._.
Aliserguy 2
**** my friend
furbyface711 9
Tell her what to do. It's the oh way she'll learn.
HighlandShadows 48
Exactly. Communication is key in any relationship, if you're not satisfied with any aspect of it you need to talk it over or you'll both be miserable in the long run.