Ohai
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML
butnotlikethat
Nanchang, China 🌶️ Spicy
Stop talking
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste." Gag me. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Janitoro
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Double-edged sword
Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
Anonymous
Newberry, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
ReallyMom
Shawano, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML
PlayTag
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
John Coltrane
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
In training
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Top comments
Timmytwofinger 0
what the **** is wrong with your mum?
ModernDreamer 0
man that sucks.... or should i say blows?
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Comments (74)
Timmytwofinger 0
what the **** is wrong with your mum?
ljbgamer 1
Maybe she was trying to see what you like when receiving a...... Bj still kind if weird though
teentee401 37
69 likes on this comment. How appropriate.
Rainbowsareshiny 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
i. love. your. mother!!!! seriously, it's the opposite in my mother-daughter relationship. i look to her for guidance she just asked you cuz you're a guy and you know what you like. it's not THAT weird. but i guess it depends on what type of relationship you have with your mother. hahahahaha i still love her.
omgYoUbasTards 0
wait are you saying women get their blowing skills from their mothers?? um... idt i can look at my gf mom the same anymore :-/ just been scarred for life.
bv110 2
ok idc how bad i am at it but i am never asking my mom advice on how to give a good *******! shes 50 idt shes ever even given a ******* to my dad ever!
usmcsniper16 0
^ shut the **** up youre like 12
Shadowvoid 33
That's ridiculous^ of course your mom has blown your dad... It's a basic sexual thing. Remember parents have done ever thing you have and more.
chrisbeaudoin 26
Thanks for reminding me, i really needed the mental image
Maniac_fml 0
'tis painful man i hope you get revenge on your mum
maiden_girl 5
LMAO! Wow... maybe she was wondering about trying a certain technique she thought your dad or her boyfriend might like...
deadlydeadd 2
Why would people down rate this it's true and the critics of FML are butthurt
ModernDreamer 0
man that sucks.... or should i say blows?
Boomi 39
I'm not sure if I should laugh or facepalm.
Jason_fml 0
Sometime in the future you should go up to her and ask, "Mom when dad is going down on you do you like it when he works his tongue or do you prefer it when he lets his fingers do the talking?"
Fnukk 0
Maybe she thinks you watch a lot of ****? Your mom is sick anyway.
Meemer147 0
Um, HELLO? coming from a woman, she probably meant it in a "What feels good" kinda way, not a "Im asking a guy who gives blow jobs"
mrcarmine 0
lol @ jason, good stuff and yeah, meemer147 and rainbowsareshiny got it, she was asking you since she expected you to know what guys like. that was like, "hey, son, props to you for getting blow jobs. how do i give a good one?" lol def still weird though... but the being a guy part doesn't make it an FML by itself.
THTB 3
You know shit's wrong when your mom assumes you're a homosexual and you give ********. Not saying being gay is bad or anything...