Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
LiyIa_fml 8
Practice makes perfect?
RoboCunnilingus 23
On the bright side, at least she isn't giving them to someone else.
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Comments (199)
gman90210 18
Your life is not FML as she can get better and you won't be complaint then.
escobar07 10
Arnt there ******** classes for that?
panda_lou 11
You're only as good as your teacher. Stop complaining how much she does it wrong and teach her to do it right. Perhaps her last boyfriend liked it that way. Ever think of that?
heyhvasaa 4
Practice makes perfect homie
Zehla 7
If her prowess at BJ's is that big a concern for you, I am sure your relationship must be loving and unconditional...T.T honestly I get why guys love sex, but making it the entire relationship is so crass.
FMLnoFMD 5
Dont be picky at least you get some
livelovemusic22 3
Teach her :) she'll get better and it will all be worth it.
nellnray 5
oh well she tries lol
HeartOfLead 24
Don't be such a stiffler Op, I hope you understand that a girl like that is hard to come by.
webshammo 8
Well, yes. He said she was bad at them. Making them hard to come by.
iwadasn 33
Ladies and gentlemen, the worst boyfriend ever.
sp00ky_fml 5
Couldn't agree more. Another ass who expects his woman to be adept at everything from Day 1. Ever heard of mutual learning experiences?