Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
LiyIa_fml 8
Practice makes perfect?
RoboCunnilingus 23
On the bright side, at least she isn't giving them to someone else.
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Comments (199)
yeti37 16
have you best friend over and show her what she should do. she'll learn best by your demonstration.
CreepInTheCorner 11
You are an asshole.
TechFire 25
How so?
chrislink 6
Just get them both together so they can teach each other... Oh wait it's only one girl...
Zacham 5
just try and coach her through it she will get better. just let her know when she does something you like
tbooty2140 4
Wum wum waaaaaaaaaaaaaah
noahwatson1 0
A bj is a bj... Dont complain about it
thatageguy 1
You have to start a training program.
DuRpY 5
Buahaha! Is it just me or is "blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving ********" one of the most blasphemous phrases encountered today?
hornyjello 1
Psshhh I have a kinky sexy girlfriend but she hates blow jobs.... So be thankful Hahaa
BananerzFresh 12
The more she blows the more she will know...