Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
LiyIa_fml 8
Practice makes perfect?
RoboCunnilingus 23
On the bright side, at least she isn't giving them to someone else.
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Comments (199)
journeytotheend 16
Wait!! There is a such thing as a bad bj?
chrissy2 28
Tell her to watch ****. Satisfying and educational all at the same time.
badbitchesonly 2
You're dating a girl who likes putting your penis in her mouth. Help her help you, she deserves the effort.
bleedingsarcasm 5
If she sucks it's your fault because every guy likes something different and they have to speak up and say what they want and like!
misshex 10
She will get better with practice!
ak_6694 16
Ohhh....you poor bastard....my heart goes out to you...
squidbilly4life 0
That blows
Xianthos 2
Well a girl can get better giving head, but make a girl like giving head isnt that easy at all. So dont whine and let her practice! Sacrifice yourself so in long term you win!!!
blackman303 11
does she actually blow in it or something ?
Speshul 3
******** are like pizza. When it's good, it's great. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.