Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
LiyIa_fml 8
Practice makes perfect?
RoboCunnilingus 23
On the bright side, at least she isn't giving them to someone else.
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Comments (199)
picturescrazy 24
If she does anything you like, make sure you are reacting in some way, or at least tell her that whatever it is feels good. Girls will have NO idea what feels good to you unless you let us know in some way! Most girls don't mind pointers either, just make sure to give them in a kind manner. Demanding her to do it may not fly unless she likes the submissive role. Next time, suggest she try something specific that you either know or think you know that you'll be into. She'll be a pro in no time! We all have to start somewhere!
guemarez 9
You can have her practice on me until she gets it down right. PROBLEM SOLVED!!!
Sanrio90 8
You could just tell her what you like and don't like. Maybe she's not very experienced.
Acik91 26
Well, the enthusiasm is the important part. She will learn. (I don't have time to read all the 136 comments posted so far, but I'm pretty sure that somebody has already come up with the 'that really sucks' line...)
seanc722 2
Durp. you can't be really bad... If she is not doing it the way you like then you, rather then use your fingers to type it to the world, you open your mouth and tell her what YOU like.
BIGxJOSH 5
This still seems like a good think
mecca512 4
Lets trade girlfriends. Ill work with yours.
Leftoverjello 6
Is her name Kristy?
astralvagan 20
If you don't tell her what you want, or how it feels good for you, then it's partially your fault... You have to teach her how you want it done
thereseg69 7
How is there such a thing as a bad bj???
redhedsaysrawr 18
Teeth.