Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
LiyIa_fml 8
Practice makes perfect?
RoboCunnilingus 23
On the bright side, at least she isn't giving them to someone else.
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Comments (199)
rubyliu8420 7
Teach her by instruction. This way u can mold her into an expert.
HentaiBunny 4
Let's hope that they don't meet. ;) :P
cookiecaek 11
That's why you help her dude -_- god just point her in the right direction in a nice way. Us girls aren't always mind readers! YDI
nerdsgetmehot 23
You can teach her how to be better, you know...
deaddonkey 15
You are so lucky. All she needs is practice and pointers. Then you get a girl that loves blow jobs and IS good at them.
moofukmoocowmilk 3
" 36 dicks"
DJ_Chutfield 4
In a row??
Zarquon 1
Ok, so BJ's aren't great. Is she better when she goes deeper? Note: The gag reflex can be almost COMPLETELY ELIMINATED, by squeezing a thumb in its fist. Before you thumb, try this.
jgriff79 23
Quit bitching OP, a least your getting head. The worst I ever got still felt great!
skullofdarkness 18
I feel ya bro... My girlfriend seems to enjoy ****-biting.... I, on the other hand, am not so fond of this tendency of hers…
ripjohnlennon 5
This is like being in south Africa and bitching about having slow Internet. At least you have Internet, or in your case an awesome girlfriend.