Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my new girlfriend gave me head for the first time. It was so good, I swear she sucked my soul into another dimension! I was snapped back to earth by the thought that no one sucks that good without years and years of practice. Now I can’t stop thinking about all the other dicks she’s sucked. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
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Top comments
deathwishkid 0
"3 long months"? god, guys really cant take comittment unless their whistle's being blown can they?
Candisalis 0
What the heck?! How is that sweet? Three months is extremely quick for anything like that. Apparently, you're a ho.
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Comments (74)
HyperFlirt 0
@Meh: Why is that quick? XD @OP: I'd take that as a compliment. I'd love to be that good! @i know the feeling: wtf... Why would it take so long? Poor you.
yewanchor 7
That must've sucked
CDub7888 0
It's not a huge deal, but I can see where that story could've taken a wrong turn. But hey, it's not the end of the world. It happens. ^_^;;
deathwishkid 0
"3 long months"? god, guys really cant take comittment unless their whistle's being blown can they?
hanacurse 11
It's like the song. People are just terrible.
Eorlas 31
Or for some people the urges are very powerful, thus making 3 months with someone they find to be very attractive feel like a very long time.
livexmyxlife 0
That's not that bad
Time2Remission 0
Wow...you called your GF a d*cksucker.
Kielnmsoftly 26
I fail to see where that would be incorrect. But that's none of my business.
sweetnsassy1919 0
I'd take er' as a compliment
lich_fml 0
..that's exactly what my boyfriend said to me.
hey_its_me_ 20
Plot twist! You're OP's girlfriend!
Ravenite 0
What on earth made you say something like that?
carolmc 0
iii think it's sweet that you guys waited that long !
Candisalis 0
What the heck?! How is that sweet? Three months is extremely quick for anything like that. Apparently, you're a ho.
width 4
Obviously sarcasm.
briannabrocious 2
That was very rude. Waiting a long time doesn't make you a annoying prude and doing it within a shorter amount of time doesn't make you a ho. Now If it was with someone she's never meet before that one thing. Everyone has there own sense of when things should be done in a relationship.
Amandalemora 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
my boyfriend and i are going on 5 months and a ******* is no where in the future.
lindzz963 0
why i love them
ndvorsky 4
that is because you are in a real relationship
gnattine 11
You're so lucky!
rofflewaffle 9
Ndvorsky, are you implying that a loving relationship between two people who enjoy pleasing one another sexually as an expression of love not "real?" Because not only is that absurd, it's also extremely offensive.
goaliestud30 23
That is terrible
jarheart 3
I'm almost at 7 so
measishouldbe 17
My bf waited a year for that from me.