PlayTag
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
bootyislife
Lynnwood, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hidden
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Janitoro
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Double-edged sword
Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
hitintheeye
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
TeeJay
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
whattheheck
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Winnipeg, Canada
You what?
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Miscommunication
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
ihatejasonderulo
Hounslow, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Careless Whisper
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML
Anonymous
Fitzroy, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Boomer humor
Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML
noname
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Top comments
O_0 0
If i where you at this point i would practice...give her an amazing ****** and then stop having sex with her.
Dr_Phil 0
Dude you need to dump her. I'm picking up a ****-vibe from her. She's going to eventually cheat on you.
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Comments (48)
Josephous 0
Damn, thats weak
O_0 0
If i where you at this point i would practice...give her an amazing ****** and then stop having sex with her.
greenman_fml 0
she deserves a dump on her chest
Dr_Phil 0
Dude you need to dump her. I'm picking up a ****-vibe from her. She's going to eventually cheat on you.
Toasty283 8
So your slutty senses are tingling?
Haelous 0
Some people are just don't have chemistry in bed but #8 is probably right.
casanova_fml 0
get her a vibe and soak it in hot sauce. then show her how much youve learned
Chura 0
well that's no good. you can't get responses from the doll on how you're doing.. you need to go out there and practice~ ;) especially if she actually IS like #8 said.. . then do what #4 said.
Bkkid99 0
#1 .. ur a fag . and #4 , #5 are completely right lol
f3ral 0
I used to be a 'two minute wonder'. My missus at the time pointed me to some tantric sites and I managed to get to about 6-8 with in a couple of days. That was a number of years ago and although I'm not Sting I can hold my own, no pun intended.
podrummer9209 0
#19, masturbating and holding it back for as long as possible helps, too. #10, you are a tool. Sex is a fine art. OP, to that I would reply 'Just like you, doesn't move and doesn't feel very good.' And then dump her. Publicly.