Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML
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Top comments
spinda 22
WTF. That's ******* gross and creepy.
sturschaedel 27
She just doesn't want you to go blind.
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Comments (141)
amberBueker88 7
OK that's just a little creepy... No wait I lied that's totally nucking futs!
skylanderninja 14
Totally nucking futs. Seems legit.
DBJ99 14
Call child protection services
shelby_franklin 16
I hope no one on here knows you or your family personally
coatl45 11
Yeah. That could make this really ugly. People like that are usually just as obsessed over how they appear to others as they are about god.
gilligan_isle 6
When hearing stuff like this about super strict religious parents I always wonder if they've watched the movie 'Carrie'...
coatl45 11
If they watch movies, religious fanatics aren't going to watch horror movies about "witches" with "magic" like telekinesis. And they're also probably going to ignore the books those movies are based on, especially when I'd bet that authors like Stephen King are considered satanists and devil worshipers by fanatics.
DoomedGemini 38
I've heard of kids not allowed to read Harry Potter because of their parents being religious. It's incredibly over the top, it seems like to them everything had to be about their religion whether it be good or bad
coatl45 11
#98 At least according to southern baptists in the states, it is. Everything in this life is a test set forth by God to see if we can uphold the aspects of and teachings of Christianity. This is pretty much every sermon I've sat through growing up in a nutshell. I'm inclined to believe that it's the same for other denominations, and possibly Islam? I don't know much of anything about Islam, so I'm most likely wrong, if I am, please correct me without biting my head off? I gotta get up for work tomorrow.
worldclassrager 41
No privacy? So what if you jack off its normal for teens and young adults
TacoMortis 15
Don't worry op, my mom came in my room after my boyfriend left and went through the trash to make sure we didn't have sex, this included sniffing a napkin or two. FYL I know how it feels
snipesrock 9
time to jerk it into every single sock she has.
O0hdear 21
ew.
mrslegume 8
What kind of semen is she use to smelling? I've never noticed it having a smell.
shit123456 2
oh that's nasty