Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML
Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML
Today, I've been using a lot of Flonase recently for my stuffy nose, and my 4 year-old happens to call it "mommy's special nose medicine" out loud all the time. My neighbors now think I do cocaine. FML
Today, I am babysitting my niece for the first time. After getting her to go to sleep, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze. My sneezes are loud as hell. Attempts to dampen the sound were unsuccessful. My colossal sneeze scared the bejesus out of her, waking her up again, and now she's afraid of me. What do I do now? FML
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Top comments
thatfmlguy25 21
She might have social anxiety. Talk to her more, its a great start to help ease it.
minnymau5 5
OP, maybe you should look into helping her break out of her shell. Her level of introvertedness sounds kind of extreme.
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Comments (50)
thatfmlguy25 21
She might have social anxiety. Talk to her more, its a great start to help ease it.
beeferjay 34
why should OPs daughter be forced to interact heavily with society? society is brutal and horrificly selfish and asleep to their own slavery. I applaud OPs naughty for not wanting to be apart that
trellz17 19
#25, what?
MDoremis 38
25, because whether or not we like it we are part of society. You cannot successfully exist as an agoraphobe in today's time, and she, as well as everyone, needs to learn a modicum of social skills to get them through life.
askullnamedbilly 33
Not just in today's time, but quite literally in all of human history - humans are a social species. If you have a problem with interacting with other people, that is not just a lifestyle choice. It's a disorder that will limit you tremendously in your every day life if it goes untreated.
kellyem2 20
Therapy probably also wouldn't hurt...if you could convince her to talk to the therapist.
conman531 23
#25, do you have a problem you want to address?
kozzard 17
in all honestly, this is the best time in human history to be a shut in. you can take online classes for a job that you work from home, online bill pay, even have take-out or even groceries delivered...if you do things just right you almost never have to leave your house
ajeppsen 25
#72 Until you have a power outage or your Internet goes down.
Zoldyck 17
She seems sweet. (:
joarasmi 24
well... time to lock up all the spices
rainbowsRlove 15
well sniffing pepper would make me not want to talk to someone
hellnosucka 27
well be glad it's just black pepper she's sniffing.
ukeandfoodislife 19
This deserves way more likes
minnymau5 5
OP, maybe you should look into helping her break out of her shell. Her level of introvertedness sounds kind of extreme.
Redgy22 26
Yes, rather than posting it online where she might how much her doesn't care about. Nothing like worldwide public shaming to help with her social awkwardness. Shame on you op.
momof3honeybee 13
What 57 you missed some words or something.
Lucachoo 9
Um, this post is completely anonymous so how is this world wide shaming? Much of the world doesn't even know about this site.
ChopSuey444 20
I don't know, it's a pretty specific scenario. If she ran across this post somehow, she'd probably have a pretty good idea who it's about. And were she to see it, she'd likely feel very ashamed and embarrassed. Therefore worldwide shaming is a pretty good description of what this is. Which would just add on to her social anxiety. Tl;dr: most teens don't snort pepper.
sonasonic 34
Well if sniffing black pepper is bad to her, just remember that she would less likely try to smoke crack.
Destiny8745 29
So that's what I have to do to avoid social interaction. Intresting.....lol
americanafrican 32
just avoid eye contact, that is how i do it!
marcranger 29
Avoiding eye contact + having earbuds in at all times, even if they're not connected to anything. I don't think I've had to interact with a stranger outside of my work in three years!
MELKOZAR 27
Social anxiety much?
Symantha23 25
Sounds like major social anxiety. She seems really nice though.
TheLynx_fml 20
How did this comment receive any negative votes?