Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
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Top comments
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I kinda want to know how old both of you are... maybe she's trying to give you a hint to move out ;p
supportcommand 17
Your mom sounds classy. Next time you're sitting there channel surfing, think about where that remote may have been.
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Comments (144)
furry_fml 6
Wow, fyl
magicbananas3 6
Wow. That really must've took some long hard thinking to figure out that someone on fml's life sucks.
hotshot2626 9
Personally I hate it when people do that; always rubbed me the wrong way I guess.
chesoes 8
yea i guess they did lol
walmartpaysme 15
91 - saying "yea I guess they did" or any other form of simplistic agreement is just as bad as commenting just to say someone else's comment sucked. We have the thumbs to prevent this kind of irrelevant commenting.
hutch66 13
59- Intentional pun?
piff7 14
At least she isn't doing it in your room? But anyway that is really just wrong. She should know better than to do that
falafalo 25
Hate to break it to you MsKati, but you probably have been on such a sofa. It's not that uncommon for people to have sex outside of their bedrooms...
RedPillSucks 33
Nothing like entering a room and having to asses which piece of furniture one can sit on or lean against which hopefully hasn't been tainted by bodily fluids. I can imagine having to enter such a place with those UV lamps that make semen stains visible. Does it also work for vaginal ejecta?
Tuffay 14
Oh you have, and will. I hear they make bubbles for people like you to live in... Not sure if those are all spunk free though.
Mauskau 36
Ummmm.... Not the best thing to admit if you're trying to defend yourself from someone judging you.
77777771 12
Playing the dead relative card?
iCake 13
Eeeeew? But at least she's happy ^_^
iiAntheA17 7
Sure. You could say that. Whatever makes you feel froggy...
iiAntheA17 7
Sorry guys. Had to edit this. Accidentally posted twice. Just thumb it down... -.-
gantoman 13
Minecraft forever and ever bro
ShadowlessSpear 21
This thread is a fail.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I kinda want to know how old both of you are... maybe she's trying to give you a hint to move out ;p
Thanatoslives 7
Or a hint to move 'in'. :/
Rowdey 10
Too far, 7.
Bullpine 11
Holy hell 7. Prepare for the downvotes.
jojimugo 20
Ahhhh the trailer park life
captainburke 5
You knew it was coming
cnorris31 2
Can't beatem joinem
gashing 2
I think next time he walks in he should offer a helping hand hahaha im so punny :b
LatinLegacy 8
Lol
SnipeFatPeople 6
Oh god, I can't even imagine walking in on that... FYL, just straight up FYL
ellie121 4
Anyone else notice a mother cant "rub one out" ?
Justin0481 5
Why can't she? Masturbation for a female isn't just shoving things into the ******, most of the time it's "rubbing" the clit. So she most certainly can "rub one out"
walmartpaysme 15
Yes. She can. Edit- got beat.
ma77 9
How come this comment has 106 thumbs up, when it's nearly the exact post as number 1, which has 45 thumbs down? Just an observation.
walmartpaysme 15
111 - Because life's not always fair.
SnipeFatPeople 6
Because he said "wow, fyl" just so he could say something real quick to be first. I actually added more to mine...
ma77 9
111 and 114: fair enough. I believe you meant something by your first post 114, like I said, it was just an observation :)
docscientist 10
It's not really rubbing one out then, is it.
walmartpaysme 15
124 please read 62's comment.
ILoveFluttershy 3
I can honestly say I know that feel. Except it was with my friend's little brother. Needless to say I don't go over there anymore....
emilyjgraham 34
friends brother and your own mother are EXTREMELY different!
walmartpaysme 15
6 the very fact that you "don't go over there anymore" is proof that this is a different situation. OP cannot simply stop going to their own house.
supportcommand 17
Your mom sounds classy. Next time you're sitting there channel surfing, think about where that remote may have been.
ReturnOfTheRat 6
0.0 its a scary world we live in
SonOfAMitch 14
Bad thoughts are invading my brain.
RedPillSucks 33
@9. Why the hell did you have to suggest that!? Now everyone's afraid of touching the remote. The TV has been on the Barney channel (subsidiary of Fox News) for days! Of course, we're standing in front of the couch, cause everyone's also afraid to sit on the couch. Strangely, no one has thought to manually change the channel on the TV.
walmartpaysme 15
57 - you can manually change the channel on a tv? Isn't that, like, what they did back in the olden days?
RedPillSucks 33
Yes, Despite the fact that all TVs still have a way to manually change channel, we always run around like drunk monkeys when the remote is lost.
typark123 7
Damnn if I had a mom like that I would be banging girls at my house everyday :P
Rowdey 10
Don't kid yourself.
DocBastard 40
My Virgin Sensor is beeping incessantly after reading this comment.
emilyjgraham 34
does the thought of it turn you on or something? :s
agonydrum 7
But because his mom chooses not poke herself in the living room he remains a virgin? I don't get it
bread2toast 0
Lol ******* fag. Way to be a dick.
Arrawyn 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's what I like to call classy with a capital K
DCvRkey2012 7
Last time I checked, classy doesn't start with a "K".
KylieMangion 22
That's really disturbing....
Feared 9
A **** punt might put a stop to this.