Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML
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Top comments
spinda 22
WTF. That's ******* gross and creepy.
sturschaedel 27
She just doesn't want you to go blind.
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Comments (141)
dylan913 13
This really increases my already very strong distaste for religion
Drosophila82 18
Two words "GET OUT" before it's too late
coold_5 17
you have my sympathies OP. been in kinda same situations
umerjavaid 2
Dude flush them.. don't keep them as trophies!! Veteran Advice :P
Enzymatically 14
gross...
LaEvolucion 6
Thats ******* gross ???
dragoongirl90 34
I love the name. Your mom sounds creepy, OP. Be careful or she'll be ruining every relationship you ever have just to keep you in her clutches. What a sicko.... And there is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself. Nothing at all. There is nowhere in the bible that says anything bad about it.
kalbrek009 20
Not exactly sure how your mom would know what a tissue used for that would smell like...but then again, I don't want to know. That's nasty beyond words. Surprised she isn't sniffing your socks as well.
Eddyisme 4
Yeah, cause, obviously YOU have the problem here. (cough cough) Her (cough)
protoskore 27
ground White pepper is the answer.