Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
spinda 22
WTF. That's ******* gross and creepy.
sturschaedel 27
She just doesn't want you to go blind.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
MELKOZAR 27
Hopefully you hadn't done it recently.
shmoooopie 29
Even if op had it wouldn't have mattered because, judging by the user name, he flushed the tissues down the toilet instead of throwing them in the trash can
Luter72 9
and that is the reason you should just flush those tissues
sturschaedel 27
Which is exactly what he did, hence the username.
Geckosrock99 33
That's crazy. Masturbation's normal, your mother, OP, is not.
gracehi 33
Interesting that the super religious lady is so familiar with semen that she's confident in her ability to identify it on smell alone.
silverkaast 9
marriage includes sex.
RedPandax 23
#24, She might not be married.
grimboots 3
OR the end of it.
xoteeshaox 22
But if she's super religious, most likely she is. Also, for OP to be here, his mum had to have had sex.
LoZelda123 20
unless OP is adopted ^^;
Moonditch_fml 19
Yikes. I think that crosses a line. Good luck and hang in there until you can move out, OP. In the meantime, keep flushing!
numberswoman 14
I don't know whose life sucks more. Yours because she does that or hers because she does that!
trucker2 33
Use her stockings then.
trucker2 33
If wacking it sends you to hell, I'll see ya when you get there.
coatl45 11
Good to know I've got interesting people to chat with on my way down then.
hoosiergirl94 31
Plot twist: she's into that stuff
lalah_fml 9
You got is rough dude