Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML
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Top comments
spinda 22
WTF. That's ******* gross and creepy.
sturschaedel 27
She just doesn't want you to go blind.
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Comments (141)
ehmojj 6
so when are you moving out
trellz17 19
I can imagine this, you should've recorded it.
BitterSavage 20
That's a bit extreme.. I'm worried what she'd do if she did find one you used.
coatl45 11
Probably start screaming into his face, then shoving it into his face, and finishing up with a rant about how he'll go to hell if he keeps doing it and other religious crap.
BiblesEatBabies 6
Holy shit get out of there OP! People that willing to control your actions are dangerous. She needs to be locked away in a mental institution.
bigmeechay666 8
That's ****** disgusting shoot her in the face
dyscomonkee 12
As a mother I just like the way my son's semen smells/ tastes ......
IchigoDeathGod 14
Just wait till you can live by yourself OP. :)
cosmicdancer84 7
Tell your mom to **** off and stop being controlling. what you're doing is natural and healthy. Don't ever feel bad about that.
coatl45 11
That could be more dangerous than her actually finding anything.
team_hale 11
How does your fanatically religious mother know what cum smells like?
maz08 11
She can't be that religious if she can sniff out spunk off a tissue!