Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML
Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML
Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML
Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML
Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML
Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML
Today, I spilled hot coffee all over this man at work. I tried apologizing and saying it was an accident, but he then complained, which resulted in me being unemployed. The man I spilled coffee on was my uncle. FML
Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML
Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML
Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML
Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML
Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML
f_ck_U tells us more.
f_ck_U 23
more than 100 means those confirmed and posted FMLs. That 500 are those unconfirmed which need you to click Y or N.
Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML
Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML
Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML
Today, I started my first day as a waitress. After getting my ass slapped, drinks and food spilled over me, and being tripped by a bratty kid, my tips were stolen. FML
Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying, "That's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
Today, I had to fire an employee because she constantly calls in, or is late to work. She became very emotional and I felt kind of bad, so I walked her out myself. We then got stuck in the company elevator. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML
kareltje tells us more.
kareltje 17
Can't they make a living during office hours? That would've given me 2 hours of sleep at least...
Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML
Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML
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