Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML
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Top comments
heylesha 8
thats actually kinda funny!
StarWolf111 21
Oh god.
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Comments (118)
StarWolf111 21
Oh god.
Shy_Anne 10
Did you arrest him ?
flockz 20
did you join him?
LiveLaughFML 10
what would mother say? tsk, tsk, shame.
MagicGiraffe 12
Ya there was 69 YDIs when I looked at this...;D
Twisted_Reality 5
**** the police!
RedSharpieInk 5
You dad pees on cars? Shame..
monkeys1315 0
Maybe he was just testing you.
vibeplayer1112 0
This. Is. An over used FML.
GuitarFail123 9
Iheartfunny 1
What a family reunion for you two maybe when he gets out of jail you guys can catch a baseball game like old times
heylesha 8
thats actually kinda funny!
Matt_Lord_Of_The 3
I wouldn't have a problem arresting my Pa in this situation. It sounds like fun
frankq555 3
It better then unknown ppl
ikickgingers 15
Your dad can come tailgating with me any day.
808Boyo 4
If your **** are as big as the ones in your picture, I'll tailgate with you anytime ;)
CryMoreFMLs 15
Get a life 47, or do the world a favor and strangle yourself until you're too retarded to breed.
divadro102 16
You do know that that's a fake picture and it's only a big man in the basement with mustard on his lips. Or so that's what stereotypes lead me to believe.
ikickgingers 15
48 - ??
withered 30
I guess you were annoying her too much before or you just aren't good so she doesn't like it... If a guy can't please a woman she surely won't have sex.
ugliness 6
wrong fml?...
RLG 7
Where in this FML does it mention a woman and sex?
mistersheezy 7
I bet you were pissed off. Unlike the cars.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Yah! The cars where pissed up! Wait...
KiddNYC1O 22
Bravo.
lobum 12
Pissed on, you assclown.
Olivxr 5
Art thou frustrated sibling?
skata 4
67- wtf is an assclown
StoryOfTheYear 15
67- OHHHH! I get it now, sorry.
JustinThunder 8
At least your dad knows how to party.
withered 30
ooops I missclicked FML XD sry!
aKaClickZ 4
Sounds like a swell first day on the job.
katt_is_here 24
My comment was about something someone else said above. This is the edit. FML, your coding on this site is horrid.
TzzaNL 8
I would Laugh my ******* ass off ahahaha
FU2causeUFML 2
Okay tell the guys you'll take care of it. Then go by yourself, tackle him, and cuff his hands. Then, drive around the block a few times until he sobers up, and say you won't charge him if he gives you 100 dollars.
Somoajoe11 2
I need to be a police man!
white16sox 19
14 except by taking $100 op would be charging him.
marpay 11
And you know taking $100 would be taking a bribe and rune his credibility, plus probably lose him his job.