Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML
Today, I watered a dying communal plant. I was fined $250 for littering. FML
Today, trying to get to work just off Eglinton station in Toronto, I slept in, didn't shower, and didn't have money for an Uber, so I jumped on the street car. This was the only time they had people checking tickets. One 200$ fine later, I'm late for work, and after a warning for my tardiness, I was sent home for "stinking." FML
Today, I accidentally left my concession card in the photocopier. I then got fined for not having a concession card on the train. I was photocopying it for a letter to get out of a fine for not having a concession card. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to Super Glue a couple of quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML
Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML
Today, I hopped on a tram without a ticket to travel one stop in order to save 5 minutes off my walk. Instead, I got a $230 fine and ended up 15 minutes further away from my destination. FML
Today, I tried to help my community by cleaning up a patch of waste ground covered in litter. Instead of gratitude, I was reported to the cops and issued with fines for noise complaints, trespassing, causing a nuisance, littering, harming wildlife, and about 15 other offences. Screw this community. FML
Today, my card got declined at Subway, so I walked to the nearest cashpoint thirty minutes away to frantically figure out how much cash I had in my card. As I went to pull my card out of my purse, it slipped from my grip and fell into the sewer. The guy behind me snorted with laughter. FML
Today, after a long bike journey through heavy traffic in the pouring rain to deliver a coffee order, the coffee decided to fall out of the bottom of the now soggy paper bag I was carrying and land on the customer's floor. I cleaned it up with paper towels from the toilets. The delivery company didn't pay me. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
How stupid are you? Are you in the habit of reading trash? No, and neither is anyone else. Your plan was idiotic, and you got exactly what you deserved - no new customers, and $500 out of your pocket.
NStarB 13
Atleast they saw ur card ;)
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Comments (71)
NStarB 13
Atleast they saw ur card ;)
tpreston 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You commented twice, why? Just wanted to see yourself first AND second?
copy125 0
That's when you tell them that it wasn't you even tho it's your card. YDI either way tho
chelseaaababyyy 17
he could have commented twice by accident. jeez.
trevishere 7
11-I have an annoyance with people like you. some are double/triple posts. FML's fault, in that case the comment number is the same. And the other kind is just attention hogs posting the same comment multiple times. the comment number is different. Idiot.
lies_ah 3
hahaha woo go 46 so true!!
FrostHeart 36
Wow same comments on double post ._. If you're that desperate for people to see your card, go to a public transport place, help people with stuff like luggage and everything, the give them your card and get a 1-5 dollar tip :). Easy money if you were a hobo
NStarB 13
Atleast they saw ur card ;)
elephantom12 9
Probably should have stuck them against a wall instead of dropping them on the ground.
SirBedevere 0
Captain planet would whoop your ass for that.
DocBastard 40
How stupid are you? Are you in the habit of reading trash? No, and neither is anyone else. Your plan was idiotic, and you got exactly what you deserved - no new customers, and $500 out of your pocket.
MagicallyFat 12
Yeah but still the public transport here in ny has all sort of gross stuff and no one gets in trouble
Andr913 13
9-that doesn't make it right.
donnymurph 3
There are strict littering laws in Sydney, the OP should have known this.
MagicallyFat 12
That's ridiculous I've walked in grosser things at the trains. But it also depends on how much you dropped. Did you shower them with your cards?
Ch0sen 13
Difference is that most gross things don't have your name, number, and business address on them.
ellakacyme22 6
You could say they droped from ur bag unknown to you I have left my cards on the bus and trains aswell
perdix 31
I make important business decisions and consumer choices based on what I find lying on the ground. Keep up your brilliantly efficient mass-marketing plan!
TeeHee124 0
Goddamnit perdix you did it again... Anyway, who the **** just reads shot that they find on the ground
perdix 31
I do. I figure it's a sign. That's how I got my car, my lawn service and my current religion.
s0m3guy2010 21
I'm sure some Native American somewhere was shedding a single tear whenever you threw those business cards on the floor.
kiakia0131 23
OP is from Australia. There aren't Native Americans there. Your comment isn't going to be very effective.
s0m3guy2010 21
I'm referring to an old commercial that was shown in more countries than just the US. Thanks for playing though.
anorexicbarbie 8
10 I give your joke...a 3/10. A for trying though. Thanks for playing.
perdix 31
s0m3guy, I don't know why AB didn't like it, but that was a fine joke! I didn't LOL, but I found the imagery highly amusing.
s0m3guy2010 21
33- The comment was meant to be more of a reference for someone to appreciate rather than a joke. If you don't like it, then thumb me down or gtfo.
WordSmyth 2
Was that a Dave Chapelle reference?
mistersheezy 7
You couldn't find a bulletin board anywhere?