Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML
Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML
Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML
Today, I was fixing something in the back of my truck when a shopping cart sped past me towards traffic. I jumped down to catch it, but it was too late. Luckily, it didn't hit anyone, but a woman and her husband stopped to tell me what an asshole I was. Sorry for trying to save your car from someone else's cart. FML
Today, while playing golf on a local course, my idiot of a friend decided to push his pushcart down a massive hill towards me. When he realized that I was going to be hit, he screamed for me to move, but it was too late. I collapsed to the ground in pain, all while he chuckled about the situation. FML
Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML
Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
Today, I came home from school to find my house ransacked. The robbers shoveled a path from my back door to the driveway, through the snow, then they stole my snow-shovel. FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
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Top comments
franticravyn 7
They say all teenagers scare the livin' shit outta me... They could care less as long as someone'll bleed.
underguarded 20
This sounds like a job for Chuck Norris. It's ass kicking time.
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Comments (99)
franticravyn 7
They say all teenagers scare the livin' shit outta me... They could care less as long as someone'll bleed.
facilitator 0
So darken your clothes, and strike a violent pose. Maybe they'll leave you alone, BUT NOT ME
phoenixslayer69 4
Best part about having a emo lawn is it cuts itself....
LiveLaughFML 10
at least you weren't run over by a wheelchair =)
Pabs24 0
This story is. Fascinating.
dre_bro11 12
Phoenixslayer69, lock yourself in a round room and sit in the corner.
zombicidal 11
I used to listen to That song all the time I've always liked Hawthorne Heights more than MCR though
monkeys1315 0
That song is great. There lead singer is really hot in the video too.
LaydiexSkull 3
I used to hate MCR but loved HH I love both now though ^-^
zendaddy0 0
woo we hit someone BONUS POINTS
RedSharpieInk 5
Smart kids :D
kayayye 22
this comment deserves endless likes
IAmNotAnAnimal 9
Should have jumped on the snowboard.
markrs 0
YDI for trying to ruin their fun you little ******. Jk ;p
HowAreYouToday 34
It's not cool to post something mean, then say "jk". It is quite rude... Don't do it anymore
agaba 0
Omg that was you op oh well sorry we were having to much fun
StrangerDangerr 0
I have a feeling you wreathe only one trying to stop them.
StrangerDangerr 0
Were the. I fixed my mistake.
underguarded 20
This sounds like a job for Chuck Norris. It's ass kicking time.
RavagedSouI 0
Bruce Lee owned Chuck in the movies =/
siege10 0
They trained together and on top of that it was a movie...
RavagedSouI 0
I know but hell, I find Chuck Norris jokes being used too often
picupbart 0
Landing it in the first shot is called hole in one. then it's an eagle, birdie, par, bogey... but landing it BEFORE you hit it... that's a Chuck Norris!
NabbdjuretPerry 0
That is like triple bogey.
salvorican 24
That's why you shouldn't stand RIGHT in front of fast moving objects.. Especially since I'm pretty sure that golf cart was more dangerous than you
siickman 7
i wanna try tht so bad!!
prinzess_fml 25
But what was the snowboard doing on that golf course?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Whoever rides the snowboard for 15 seconds gets 50 points.
Enigmax2514 7
It seems * put on sunglasses * you got punked... YEAHHHHH!!!...
Enigmax2514 7
It wasn't supposed to be, and thank you *puts on sunglasses* captain duh. YEAHHHHHH!!!!
wild_n_out 8
if it wasn't suppose to be funny, why'd you post it?
iRiS890 5
The real question should be: Who the hell says captain duh? Sorry guys, I left my sunglasses at home.
Enigmax2514 7
Wait, people are only supposed to post phrases like that when it's funny? Wow I didn't know that can you guys show me where does any rule book that says that? Oh I'm sorry I guess it's just a mainstream people thing. Oh ok my bad, here thumb this down all you guys want then
iRiS890 5
Just stop. You're making it painfully OBVIOUS that you're a tard baby. Now, please explain to me why you would use duh instead of OBVIOUS. It's really bugging me.
Enigmax2514 7
Duh, obvious, aren't those two the same meaning? Now I even have to explain my own words to you? Tard baby? You sure don't know how to respect the differences of others so stfu and go back to your self-centered life Douche
iRiS890 5
THE PHRASE IS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!! That's like calling Captain Planet, Captain Earth. It doesn't matter if they're the same/similar. Respect the phrase! Tard baby is a term of endearment, don't take it to heart.
Mipz 2
9, those phrases actually DO need to be funny. Otherwise they just piss people off. Get a life.
xxxNataliexxx 0
You should of jumped on the snowboard
nonelikeworms 0
.....says IAmScrubs
12dcevin 5
Someone got a case of the Mondays