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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

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    Miscellaneous Shoes Relatable Clothes Food Weird Job interview Work Teenagers Intimacy Kids Awkward Sex Health Medication Ironic Painful Bikes Transportation Cheating Babies Love Surprise Gross Poopoo peepee Facebook Paranoia Jealousy Embarrassing Cute
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 267 653
    You deserved it 90 962
    Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 41 427
    You deserved it 539 940
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 65 211
    You deserved it 6 809
    Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple of pages, I saw my uncle. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 46 279
    You deserved it 2 902
    Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year-oldish daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "The talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 348
    You deserved it 6 691
    Today, it was my birthday. My family usually gives me a financial gift, but didn't this time and said nothing about it. I cooked my own birthday dinner without help, then washed everyone's dishes. I got my own cake and ate it alone because they were too busy getting drunk. Nobody bothered to sing Happy Birthday either. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 187
    You deserved it 168
    Today, I forgot to take my phone out of my bathing suit pocket before I went into the pool. It's not a high-end phone, so that's not why FML. The FML part is because I was on vacation, didn't have internet access, and the phone has no external memory card, so all the pictures I took while on vacation are lost. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 290
    You deserved it 537
    Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 360
    You deserved it 610
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