Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML
NRFTW tells us more.
NRFTW 8
A little more detail: This guy had wandered over from a party next door. It was almost 1 a.m., and during the holidays I work really late, so I came home, put my stuff away, and when I turned around there was a guy standing literally at my window, on my porch, pissing on my house. I walked out and started screaming at him (I know, probably not smart) to get the **** off of my property. He said, "I'm just takin' a leak," finished his business, zipped up his pants, and leaned against the porch staring at me. That's when my brain caught up with what I was doing and I went back inside and called the cops. My porch runs the length of my (very small) house. The porch is open without a railing, and at this time there were also several other men sitting on my porch right under my bedroom window (closest to my neighbors yard). When I called, Weld County dispatch first told me that the police were "too busy" to come out, and I ended up on the phone with a cop. He asked if the porch was fenced (no) and if it could be seen from the main road (no). I stupidly thought he was trying to locate my house, as it is hard to find. According to the laws in my city, once you ask someone to leave your property and they refuse, it is trespassing. I told them multiple times to leave my property, and one of them had the nerve to tell me "I can sit where ever I want."
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Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
skittycat213 19
Please tell the police to get their heads out of their asses and do their jobs! Y'know, the one we're paying for with tax money!
wouterkz 11
He's still damaging your property, so he could be charged with vandalism or a similar offense.
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Comments (245)
carmagnet 11
What about vandalism laws. Wouldn't they apply? He is defacing your property.
polluxdc 10
Remind them of the legal term, curtilage. You're property behind at your property line, with or without a fence.
SexyWildRednecks 17
If it happens again just grab a bat and start screaming. Either he will run away and not come back or continue to pee. But if you show him crazy I doubt he will come back.
takeittoem 8
Next time, kill him, chop him up into tiny pieces and bury him in the back yard. Just make sure to walk his phone several blocks away and into the sketchiest area you can find so that GPS evidence doesn't trace his final steps to your home.
Riku714 25
Why didn't OP just tell him to piss off?
EleanorHu 5
I have problem viewing complete comments, I can only see the top 2 comments. and all the other comments is in the process of " loading ". does anybody else share the same problem ? does anyone advise me how to solve the problem ? thanks.
EleanorHu 5
I can't even see my own comments. can anybody help me with my problem ?
crazydave1998 6
in other words, it's not worth making an issue over..
boo_the_unicorn 5
Really?
anonymous4991 5
The offender has committed third degree criminal trespass: he has "unlawfully enters or remains in or upon premises of another." Colorado Revised Statutes 18-4-504. Second degree criminal trespass requires that you "enclosed in a manner designed to exclude intruders or are fenced…" 18-4-503. Your porch is undoubtedly considered your property as "curtilage" of the home. Unfortunately, the other poster is correct in saying that there is no legal duty for the cops to help you. Warren v. District of Columbia. However, you can certainly still file a complaint with the department. Most supervisors take complaints involving refusal for service seriously – Don't be afraid to ham it up that you are a woman dealing with several men and in fear for your safety. In CO, he must enter unlawfully and you must reasonable believe he intends to use physical force to commit a crime if you are to justly use physical force against him. 18-1-704.5. A porch may be considered part of the home for the purposes of this statute, but it depends on the circumstances. People v. Young. However, even though it probably goes without saying, you should refrain from use of physical force (of any kind) or brandishing unless you fear for your life or bodily harm. Even though the man is in the wrong, you never know how the law might turn on you. -- From a legal professional.