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Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

#20026624
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18897) - you deserved it (1894)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

#612
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18896) - you deserved it (4113)

On 12/30/2008 at 11:53am - love - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

#2279
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18898) - you deserved it (4325)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:24am - health - by cyantist - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18892) - you deserved it (2373)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (45797)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

#19562059
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18884) - you deserved it (4469)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

#19892824
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (1672)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (1501)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (1839)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

#15386188
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (31235)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by gayboii (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

#19954177
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (5787)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:41am - work - by butterball (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

#8664112
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (3462)

On 02/26/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by canadiansun - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

#8824133
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (8075)

On 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm - misc - by dpod121 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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