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Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24070) - you deserved it (2782)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

#9093072
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24068) - you deserved it (4435)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:51am - money - by Fridaythe12th (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

#20017485
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24068) - you deserved it (2395)

On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

#459
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (3522)

On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

#13757494
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (2807)

On 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Telinaa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (16268)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (7445)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (14523)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend decided to be romantic and literally sweep me off my feet... directly into a door frame. Now my face is bruised, and the police officer at my school has asked me if I need to make a report about anything. FML

#6332669
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (2026)

On 11/16/2009 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML

#21432890
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (4024)

On 06/27/2015 at 3:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML

#19021363
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24062) - you deserved it (6840)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:40pm - health - by screwed - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while standing in line at a local Mexican fast food place, I was feeling generous and let a little kid behind me go in front. Turns out he had a list, and was ordering food for his whole family. I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food. FML

#14162375
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24060) - you deserved it (12024)

On 12/11/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#18489765
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24060) - you deserved it (3934)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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