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Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (9327)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

#19893089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21312) - you deserved it (2217)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

#8741941
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (2833)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:30am - animals - by mav3rick91 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (3833)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

#19962660
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21309) - you deserved it (1693)

On 07/20/2012 at 3:58am - misc - by Grrr (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

#6192333
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (8820)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:47am - intimacy - by forewhatnow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got an early Valentine's day card. My boyfriend and I recently broke up, and my hopes shot up thinking it might be from him. It wasn't. It was from my parents. FML

#18993320
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21307) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by Arp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21306) - you deserved it (2294)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

#19898504
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21305) - you deserved it (6354)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21303) - you deserved it (2863)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21303) - you deserved it (9492)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML

#18350562
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (2657)

On 11/25/2011 at 8:37pm - work - by workworkwork - United States (Florida)



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