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Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

#17724131
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (5839)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my parents boarded the fad wagon and became Juggalos. FML

#18891757
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (2707)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by unholy shit (man) - United States

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

#17394745
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (3030)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

#18988836
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (3001)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:22am - health - by foxyreegan - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21814) - you deserved it (2365)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (2824)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21812) - you deserved it (3130)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

#14135848
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21810) - you deserved it (2264)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21811) - you deserved it (12223)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (7072)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Love you" FML

#1723493
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (53585)

On 05/07/2009 at 5:10pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, formal portraits of my entire class were posted online, with about five photos per person. As my mom was looking at them, she was commenting about how pretty all my classmates look. When she got to my photos, all she had to say was "ugh". FML

#7222160
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (2226)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (2192)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)



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