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Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML

#6809461
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20167) - you deserved it (4054)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:19am - work - by B (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML

#18638561
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20167) - you deserved it (3848)

On 12/28/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

#19533768
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20167) - you deserved it (2195)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:04pm - health - by bucktooth - United Kingdom

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20166) - you deserved it (1261)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was applying some acne ointment. The directions said, "Apply a thin layer, covering the entire affected area." In other words, for me: My entire face. Lovely. FML

#8988436
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20161) - you deserved it (3642)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

#1021502
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20162) - you deserved it (109314)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20160) - you deserved it (2325)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML

Today, I went to the military base to save $10 on a haircut. On the way out the gate, the glare of the sun blocked my view of a star barrier. Instead of saving $10 on a haircut I now owe a $500 deductible to fix my car. FML

Today, I was told I need two root canals. This is because my previous dentist did such a bad job on one of my teeth that the decay went through and transferred to its neighbor. FML

#19622172
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20158) - you deserved it (1887)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:55pm - health - by GrinningCynic - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

#18526714
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20155) - you deserved it (35748)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

#20613766
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20154) - you deserved it (69397)

On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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