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Today, I discovered that I don't have enough financial aid to continue going to college past this semester. I'm one semester away from graduating. FML

by MyLifeSucksSoHar / 10/30/2015 at 9:49pm / United States (Florida) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

by d0rk_ / 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

by Branman2480 / 09/19/2011 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

by getajob / 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML

by smh / 09/10/2015 at 2:09am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

by stink / 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2015 at 8:57pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

by Explicit / 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm / Love

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

by Jessi / 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 5:09am / United States (Illinois) / Work