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Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML

#20186264
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (1976)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:35am - work - by CheddarJack89 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML

#8199501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (5522)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by bcca - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (2532)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

#20399692
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (1996)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by theslutmuncher (man) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18801) - you deserved it (2485)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18798) - you deserved it (1443)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

#20103084
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18795) - you deserved it (1657)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by sharky (man) - United States

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

#663
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18794) - you deserved it (6203)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22pm - love - by Danno - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18789) - you deserved it (3204)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18785) - you deserved it (32234)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18778) - you deserved it (3383)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18775) - you deserved it (36472)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

#15907460
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18772) - you deserved it (53958)

On 04/24/2011 at 10:06am - health - by nohair (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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