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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

#14065595
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (4420)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML

#14267759
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (5086)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Me -

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24079) - you deserved it (5913)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (4670)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

#19949789
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (9031)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

#19834140
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (2527)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

#14606739
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (4362)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:59pm - misc - by sos (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

#17668770
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (3227)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

#21422985
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (2235)

On 06/08/2015 at 7:38pm - love - by firehurts - United States (New York)

Today, I got l disconnect notices for both my water and my electric. After looking over my budget, I realized that I can only pay for one until next month. FML

#7106186
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (6916)

On 01/02/2010 at 3:27pm - money - by troubled - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

#13759888
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (10657)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (7538)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24070) - you deserved it (2782)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)



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