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Today, I was walking in the shoes I'm going to wear for a wedding and fell, spraining my ankle. I'm the Matron of Honor and I can barely walk. The wedding is in three days. FML

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (5403)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26744) - you deserved it (2546)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML

#19909229
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (1677)

On 07/08/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

#14305134
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (7808)

On 12/23/2010 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (1873)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML

#19501671
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (1953)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (11677)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after months of looking, my fiancé and I finally signed a lease. We are using my savings to pay for it. This apparently poses a "moral dilemma" for my in-laws who think we should wait to be married. I'm paying for an apartment I'm not allowed to live in. FML

#13179613
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (6039)

On 09/24/2010 at 2:33am - money - by sauce - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (6508)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

#19986265
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (2345)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

#21344494
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (2561)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML

#14544910
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (3257)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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