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Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

#7194644
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (3901)

On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (4490)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML

#13742923
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24425) - you deserved it (3807)

On 11/06/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML

#20198694
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (3057)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML

#19473815
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (2334)

On 04/15/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by ... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

#21363177
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (11669)

On 02/25/2015 at 5:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (9526)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

#17574598
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24417) - you deserved it (2700)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:29am - work - by badluckantonio - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

#7876927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24416) - you deserved it (3049)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm - misc - by Ewwwwww - United States

Today, I was online and I saw a friend that I hadn't talked to in two years come online. I IM'ed him, only for him to respond, "I haven't responded to any messages of yours in over a year. Most people would get the hint." FML

#14062616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (7472)

On 12/02/2010 at 6:43pm - misc - by wingless_angel_7 (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

#19726359
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/03/2012 at 12:13pm - love - by mothtal (woman) - Bulgaria

Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML

#14238369
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (3491)

On 12/17/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24412) - you deserved it (2166)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)



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