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Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19248) - you deserved it (3378)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (6827)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

#5702503
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19241) - you deserved it (2748)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by fatnick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

#13711019
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19238) - you deserved it (2237)

On 11/04/2010 at 2:41am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19237) - you deserved it (65774)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

#20007077
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19237) - you deserved it (1582)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19235) - you deserved it (1340)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

#8082949
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19234) - you deserved it (1982)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19235) - you deserved it (5207)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19230) - you deserved it (2608)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (1725)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19227) - you deserved it (5101)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I realized that even though I've taken three years of Spanish, the only words and phrases I can remember are from Dora the Explorer. FML

#13818427
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19223) - you deserved it (10971)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by rog3rli (man) - United States (New York)



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