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Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML

#13742923
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (3555)

On 11/06/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

#19508765
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (4018)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (1913)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (1840)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, I was jogging when a woman ran out of her house and handed me an invitation for a party. What was the invitation for? A weight loss treatment party. Guess the jogging isn't working. FML

#18362103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (2612)

On 11/27/2011 at 12:30am - health - by jogger (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (18728)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

#17441742
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (4568)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by Michael tee - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21285495
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (21193)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

#20013942
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (2678)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by nalathelionqueen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

#20058791
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Scholar - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

#5772637
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22352) - you deserved it (3619)

On 10/11/2009 at 6:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)

Today, my friend and I went to see our favorite band in concert. We walked at least a mile from our parking space and stood in line for two hours. My friend was supposed to have the tickets in her purse. She actually had, but she left her purse in the car. FML

#6626630
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (4472)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by musiclover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

#19997834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (17078)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:53am - money - by busted - Canada (Alberta)



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