Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23490) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23489) - you deserved it (7732)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

#6408198
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23485) - you deserved it (5387)

On 11/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by Annie (woman) - Mexico (Coahuila de Zaragoza)

Today, I had to climb over a tall gate. Getting to the top wasn't a problem, but falling face first on the way down wasn't what I'd had in mind. FML

#15899858
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23484) - you deserved it (9820)

On 04/23/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23483) - you deserved it (22210)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

#19850668
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (11147)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I proudly presented my research project in class that I've worked for day and night for 3 weeks straight. My teacher fell asleep. FML

#18067100
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (3080)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (4283)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (4294)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a pair of ankle weights for my birthday. How utterly romantic. FML

#10656263
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23478) - you deserved it (4848)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (3655)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (3586)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (1614)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: