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Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML

#19806122
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (5334)

On 06/18/2012 at 6:22am - intimacy - by the critic (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

#20198068
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (4284)

On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy. After picking me up, he started to play on repeat, and sing to me, 'Happy Together' by The Turtles. For the entire 20 minute ride. FML

#8195721
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21766) - you deserved it (3351)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:49am - love - by girlie5445 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21766) - you deserved it (3591)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at the mall I opened a bathroom stall thinking nobody was in there. The door just didn't close properly. I hit an elderly woman in the head. FML

#15464639
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21765) - you deserved it (9433)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by FckMyLife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

#17758284
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (2450)

On 09/16/2011 at 3:26pm - kids - by Chandler - United States

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

#19769607
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21763) - you deserved it (2756)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

#20788837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (38017)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

#7053849
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (4607)

On 12/31/2009 at 8:28am - animals - by brokenrainbow. (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

#19514885
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (3172)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

#19990341
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (2928)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:11am - kids - by ellieowenie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#1665
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21758) - you deserved it (1887)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by GopherJR - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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