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Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23111) - you deserved it (41855)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML

#17848312
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (1986)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:25pm - health - by fml - United States

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (5047)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (18555)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

#19359815
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (4132)

On 03/27/2012 at 9:08pm - health - by Anna - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (3152)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

#14606368
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (1872)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:32pm - misc - by sam -

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

#8862243
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (2183)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:28am - work - by AlyssaBC (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML

#9572677
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (8949)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:33am - misc - by Gina - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

#17584305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (3623)

On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (66388)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

#13317207
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (48449)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that the only reason my ex husband calls my son anymore, is to ask him to send him things on Facebook. FML

#9077229
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (2169)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:14pm - kids - by mommy - United States



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