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Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20702) - you deserved it (9721)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20700) - you deserved it (6847)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20699) - you deserved it (7533)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

#19966337
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20696) - you deserved it (2112)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20696) - you deserved it (3256)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20696) - you deserved it (38141)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (3194)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (1535)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

#20098355
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20692) - you deserved it (3836)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anna - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned that my 76 year old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML

#20051798
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20692) - you deserved it (1626)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by MsConfusedd - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

#2499784
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20689) - you deserved it (60670)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by sweet_02 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

#13056809
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (7827)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:24am - work - by clumsyandhungry (woman) - United States (Florida)



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