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Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML

#6293770
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19932) - you deserved it (2752)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by taurus05 (woman) - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19934) - you deserved it (37616)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend complained that we may not work out because I'm "just too needy". I'd woken up early and texted him "good morning" while he was trying to sleep. FML

#9047626
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (8931)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:10pm - love - by bumblebee (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

#18983389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (22026)

On 02/03/2012 at 10:49am - kids - by AvengedSevenX - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 the workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

#19626293
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19929) - you deserved it (1629)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

#19091480
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19929) - you deserved it (4113)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML

#19666389
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19927) - you deserved it (1953)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

#20065231
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19926) - you deserved it (2066)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm - work - by the bad artist - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

#20123166
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19925) - you deserved it (1745)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

#18473570
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19923) - you deserved it (7872)

On 12/10/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by CassieMarieee - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19920) - you deserved it (39175)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

#8941077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19919) - you deserved it (3813)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19918) - you deserved it (43704)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)



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