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Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

#18550542
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25091) - you deserved it (8179)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Doy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25092) - you deserved it (1820)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25088) - you deserved it (5072)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

#17555162
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25087) - you deserved it (2107)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML

#20096505
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25087) - you deserved it (2805)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:35am - health - by screw life (woman) - United States

Today, in bare consciousness, I found out what it feels like to be stabbed in the hand with an earring. How? By slamming my hand on the snooze button of my alarm and missing horribly. FML

#21411522
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25087) - you deserved it (6086)

On 05/17/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by norpedo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25086) - you deserved it (2537)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (2803)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML

#19641657
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (2256)

On 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by ohyesIfeelspecial (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML

#20411081
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (7586)

On 12/21/2012 at 9:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

#6351303
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (3732)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by disheshateme (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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