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Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML

#14102213
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19479) - you deserved it (3378)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

#14109334
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19479) - you deserved it (4020)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my mom bitched me out, calling me a selfish pig and saying that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm so conceited. All of this because I started watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad without her. FML

#20026224
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19479) - you deserved it (3420)

On 08/17/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by elijah (man) - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

#748
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (1666)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by bex - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (5074)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a theme park. The first ride I went on broke down just as my cart reached the highest point. I had a nice view of my loving family laughing at me while management failed to fix the rollercoaster. FML

#20061769
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (1561)

On 09/07/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19473) - you deserved it (4257)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States

Today, I was kicked out of a Family Dollar. My mom thought it would be fun to press all the buttons on the musical ceramic cathedrals so they would all play at the same time. FML

#13788203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:16am - misc - by dearprudence89 - United States

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (7507)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

#17646578
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (4433)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:53pm - work - by whattalife (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML

#20041946
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19466) - you deserved it (6952)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:15am - love - by bummerdood (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

#1563440
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19463) - you deserved it (78737)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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