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Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

#21422751
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24418) - you deserved it (4143)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by LZapped (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

#17574598
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (2699)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:29am - work - by badluckantonio - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

#19726359
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/03/2012 at 12:13pm - love - by mothtal (woman) - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

#14481940
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (5581)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24412) - you deserved it (3639)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (2165)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, I was online and I saw a friend that I hadn't talked to in two years come online. I IM'ed him, only for him to respond, "I haven't responded to any messages of yours in over a year. Most people would get the hint." FML

#14062616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (7472)

On 12/02/2010 at 6:43pm - misc - by wingless_angel_7 (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

#7876927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24410) - you deserved it (3049)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm - misc - by Ewwwwww - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML

#14238369
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24411) - you deserved it (3491)

On 12/17/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

#18301043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24409) - you deserved it (6272)

On 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by jazzybell - United States (Michigan)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24408) - you deserved it (3486)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML

#1959
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24407) - you deserved it (2126)

On 01/20/2009 at 8:08pm - health - by sore - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24407) - you deserved it (2754)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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