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Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (2568)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my alarm went off. I snoozed it, and went on to dream that I got out of bed, did my business, brushed my teeth, took my breakfast, changed into my working attire, and was ready for work that morning. My alarm rang a second time, I had to do all that over again. FML

#920
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (3943)

On 01/10/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by doh - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

#20195319
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (1726)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML

#21311642
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (6897)

On 12/04/2014 at 8:56pm - misc - by shugette212 - United States

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML

#19070641
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (11953)

On 02/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

#20126784
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (1711)

On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

#5819831
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (3324)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by Chensticles - Sent from mobile version

Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML

#13116896
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24133) - you deserved it (5798)

On 09/19/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (61315)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (6827)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24133) - you deserved it (6903)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

#19998370
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (2135)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

#7676063
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24129) - you deserved it (4885)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm - work - by ouch (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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