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Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

#21406879
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (3508)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:32pm - health - by better late than never -

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

#21437177
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26740) - you deserved it (2657)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:30am - intimacy - by I'm_Not_Interested - United States (Nevada)

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

#19986265
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (2345)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

#14305134
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26735) - you deserved it (7807)

On 12/23/2010 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

#6930680
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26733) - you deserved it (6416)

On 12/24/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by RoxMySox - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

#14113537
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26733) - you deserved it (5193)

On 12/06/2010 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26733) - you deserved it (3081)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML

#14544910
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (3257)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

#18009557
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (4671)

On 10/17/2011 at 8:16pm - love - by pupitre (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

#18078802
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (4355)

On 10/26/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by MereLewis95 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

Today, I locked my keys in my car and called AAA. He got out to take a look at my car, and he locked himself out of his own car with his tools inside. It took us 40 minutes with a screwdriver and stick to unlock his car and 40 seconds to unlock mine after. 9 hours later, I found my extra key. FML

#7302143
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26731) - you deserved it (5809)

On 01/12/2010 at 4:51pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I realized the $40 iPhone case I bought to keep my new phone from getting scratched, scratched my iPhone. FML

#19114135
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26731) - you deserved it (6336)

On 02/19/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by LadyGore - Canada (Alberta)



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