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Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (2628)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (4414)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (23516)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (4881)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (7986)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

#8493651
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (8060)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:38pm - love - by gullible (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

#21458477
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (2319)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

#18466137
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25317) - you deserved it (3524)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by O__o (woman) - United States

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

#17106364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25317) - you deserved it (3392)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:17am - work - by alek - United States

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (5298)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML

#17148653
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (5382)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by twelfinity - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (4876)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (3089)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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