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Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

#19987750
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22779) - you deserved it (7961)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (2580)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

#19986926
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (2179)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML

#20066967
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22774) - you deserved it (6514)

On 09/10/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Dance Dance Revolution in an arcade when a woman came up and asked me if playing it was my job. I laughed but then realized that it is actually the closest thing I have to a job. FML

#21377906
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (6567)

On 03/19/2015 at 5:49pm - work - by DDRFreak (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML

#18797635
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (2083)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

#4992534
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22772) - you deserved it (6214)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by turdburger (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22774) - you deserved it (2710)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

#6141684
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22770) - you deserved it (4732)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by scaryhairy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

#9004335
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22770) - you deserved it (2019)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by dreadedmafia86 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

#2303
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (1890)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at Home Depot getting a Christmas tree with my family. While picking out a tree, a man thought it would be nice to help cut off the string that held the tree together. The branches hit me in the face and the guy managed to cut my hand. FML

#6612451
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (2145)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by shoutoutloud2him (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML



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