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Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22451) - you deserved it (1396)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

#18587898
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22450) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:45am - misc - by jriese444 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

#17874555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22449) - you deserved it (4447)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

#7478181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22447) - you deserved it (4365)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by diorlove - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22447) - you deserved it (3175)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22447) - you deserved it (2985)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22446) - you deserved it (2552)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

#13775223
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22444) - you deserved it (3851)

On 11/09/2010 at 7:02am - misc - by botheredgf (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

#13462104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (3570)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22439) - you deserved it (2055)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML

Today, I tried to manscape with some Nair. Nothing helps the pain. FML

#21337697
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22435) - you deserved it (8793)

On 01/15/2015 at 4:05pm - misc - by NairyAGoodIdea (man) - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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