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Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19753) - you deserved it (6101)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19752) - you deserved it (2545)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19752) - you deserved it (1218)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

#5876173
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (2053)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my manager came into the dog grooming salon I work at, lecturing about the importance of staying out of a dog's "bite zone". Right then, the dog I was working on bit me. FML

#18765091
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19748) - you deserved it (3746)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:50am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out about my old school's class reunion, which I wasn't invited to. Everyone has my number and e-mail address. They just "forgot" to tell me. FML

#19448079
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19747) - you deserved it (2387)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Girl-with-the-glasses (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my drunk mother got into a fight with the lady at Krystal burger. Why? "Because the bitch said they aren't making special orders." FML

#8085656
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19745) - you deserved it (2180)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:10am - misc - by Krit - United States

Today, I went to school prepared to speak in front of a whole bunch of kids and talk about how great my middle school is. I spent an hour on the speech and took the 45 minute drive there. Turns out the coordinator of the school only called me in to pass out brochures. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (36412)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML

#20442809
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19741) - you deserved it (3722)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (2967)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML

#19612373
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19740) - you deserved it (2374)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

#19369519
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19738) - you deserved it (1794)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:42am - work - by anonymous - United States (Texas)



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