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Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19918) - you deserved it (43704)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19915) - you deserved it (81790)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19911) - you deserved it (1772)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19911) - you deserved it (3406)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML

#19492319
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19910) - you deserved it (1767)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:15pm - work - by What? (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19938) - you deserved it (3169)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19909) - you deserved it (35907)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

#20073442
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (3270)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by FullMonty (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

#627
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (4888)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:24am - misc - by mimimi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I figured I'd throw my ex-boyfriend a compliment and told him how "gifted" he was below the belt. He thinks he's paying me a compliment when he tells me how much he loves that little roll of skin that pops up over the top of my pants when I sit down. I'm trying to lose weight, asshole. FML

#1700
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19903) - you deserved it (6781)

On 01/19/2009 at 4:21am - love - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19899) - you deserved it (2053)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19898) - you deserved it (1687)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

#6105149
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (4807)

On 11/01/2009 at 5:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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