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Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19583) - you deserved it (3722)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19580) - you deserved it (7145)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19579) - you deserved it (1946)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (4192)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

#20084489
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (2027)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:03am - health - by Nyquilwtf - United States

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (3736)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

#2147248
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (69928)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

#19484468
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (21717)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by phoneless - Jordan

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

#590
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you deserved it (9017)

On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML

#19991026
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19575) - you deserved it (3411)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

#19894625
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19573) - you deserved it (1825)

On 07/05/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

#19563629
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19571) - you deserved it (6156)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by EyeSeeYou (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19571) - you deserved it (21886)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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