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Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML

#115661
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (29100)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by loserface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15318) - you deserved it (6696)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

#17543334
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (30247)

On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

#6055815
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15316) - you deserved it (4266)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15310) - you deserved it (27024)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for the third day in a row, my 10-month-old is refusing to eat any of the meals that I prepare for him. He will however eat anything semi-edible lying on the floor, cat kibble included. FML

#20061876
121 comments

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (20342)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

#19658490
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15303) - you deserved it (3589)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15294) - you deserved it (4008)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

#13650212
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15286) - you deserved it (8901)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Florida)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15284) - you deserved it (44851)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14945395
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15284) - you deserved it (23955)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States



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