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Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6296) - you deserved it (20383)
On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6292) - you deserved it (10451)
On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6291) - you deserved it (40364)
On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6289) - you deserved it (24453)
On 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm - kids - by mikey51 (man) - Australia
Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples' comments and find out that it's his daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6288) - you deserved it (25322)
On 11/30/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by PntsLessWonder (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6287) - you deserved it (13314)
On 04/19/2012 at 8:37am - health - by Burp (woman) - United States
Today, a week after I lost my wallet, replaced the majority of my ID cards, canceled my debit card, and went to the DMV and paid for a replacement driver's license, I found my wallet. It was in my shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6287) - you deserved it (17676)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by eddiemusicjazz - United States (California)
Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6280) - you deserved it (31166)
On 09/22/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by georgiana072 (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)
Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (126605)
On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (12255)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by lct722 - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (43109)
On 04/30/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by krizleykrislo - United States (Michigan)
Today, my marriage counselor told me I have the communication skills of a Lou Gehrig's patient. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (9201)
On 11/02/2010 at 7:34pm - misc - by djangle (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (23129)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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