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Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15326) - you deserved it (72477)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15322) - you deserved it (65084)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (60351)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML

#115661
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (29105)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by loserface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (6697)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

#17543334
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (30248)

On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

#6055815
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15315) - you deserved it (4266)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15311) - you deserved it (27028)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for the third day in a row, my 10-month-old is refusing to eat any of the meals that I prepare for him. He will however eat anything semi-edible lying on the floor, cat kibble included. FML

#20061876
121 comments

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

#590218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (94460)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (20343)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

#19658490
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15304) - you deserved it (3589)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)



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