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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19644) - you deserved it (2333)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (50979)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (3360)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I accidentally bumped into the fire alarm which set off a high pitch buzzing noise that could be heard throughout the entire dorm. It went on for at least two hours and none of the technicians could figure out how to turn it off. All the girls on my floor want to kill me. FML

#13108461
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (6284)

On 09/19/2010 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19639) - you deserved it (6074)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my first chorus concert. We got a bigger applause when we left the stage than when we sang. FML

#18916870
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19638) - you deserved it (6100)

On 01/26/2012 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

#20111545
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19632) - you deserved it (1803)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

#20154142
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19631) - you deserved it (2090)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States

Today, I went on a second date with a guy I really liked, and we started chatting over dinner. That's when he told me about his paranoia, and how he's unsure if I'm out to get him or not. FML

#19747527
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (1931)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I found out that the gnat infestation in my dorm room was not caused by the recent cool weather, but rather the rotten pear I found under my roommates bed. FML

#19245415
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19627) - you deserved it (2067)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:12pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (1430)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

#582886
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19624) - you deserved it (81788)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

#19404981
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (2531)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:43am - love - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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