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Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

#19810432
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (6074)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:28am - misc - by DerrickUhl - United States (California)

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

#19048671
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (5440)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (2240)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

#20103865
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20486) - you deserved it (1409)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML

#20118386
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20487) - you deserved it (1360)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:09pm - misc - by notattractiveatall (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that the only time I've ever been noticed by my classmates is when I brought cake for the potluck. FML

#14133320
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20481) - you deserved it (2820)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Invisible - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20481) - you deserved it (38449)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20480) - you deserved it (2700)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML

#19397276
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20481) - you deserved it (1626)

On 04/02/2012 at 8:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (2674)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

#12804085
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20478) - you deserved it (5694)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:45am - animals - by unluckiestperson - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML

#19895787
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20478) - you deserved it (9200)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm - work - by lazy pregnant girl - United States



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