Money and Health: Plumes - FML

Plumes

By Anonymous - 09/12/2022 06:00

Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 166

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 04:07 - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 173

You deserved it 3 523

Dad priorities

By hellishome - 29/09/2019 00:01

Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 323

You deserved it 195

Unreasonable

By Dano - 07/08/2021 10:01

Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 77

By LizzyJones - 20/08/2013 17:38 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 180

You deserved it 8 985

By Joe - 04/08/2011 18:28 - United States

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 798

You deserved it 126 065

Bills bills bills

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 12:00

Today, my dad snooped at my payslip and now he keeps calling me a tight cunt who should contribute more. This from the man who smokes 50 a day but hasn’t had full-time employment since 2009. Plus I pay rent, and the gas and electric when he can’t afford to, which is every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 86

Crisis control

By Cuntlette - 11/04/2014 16:38 - Australia - Brighton

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 3 370

Birthday blues

By omaha24 - 29/04/2020 02:00

Today, my loneliness pushed me to buy a pack of cigarettes just so I had to show my ID to the clerk, hoping he would wish me a happy birthday. I don't even smoke and he didn't say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 557

By Anonymous - 06/09/2015 06:59 - United States - Wittenberg

Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 163

You deserved it 9 596

By xerrika - 03/06/2014 11:56 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 765

You deserved it 8 941

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Friday 9 December 2022 16:21

Why don't you just get him some nicotine gum and tell him to buy his own cancer sticks?

Battousai124 6

Saturday 10 December 2022 19:03

Stop buying him cigarettes, if he can't afford them, that is his problem.

Comments

Carrie 12

Friday 9 December 2022 11:20

Half your weekly pay cheque or monthly?

RichardPencil 30

Friday 9 December 2022 16:20

Probably her fortnightly paycheck.

Yudith 24

Friday 9 December 2022 13:20

Have you thought about buying your stepfather's cigarettes at Kanesatake or Akwesasne like everyone else? This way, his cigs will only cost a quarter of your paycheck.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 9 December 2022 16:21

Why don't you just get him some nicotine gum and tell him to buy his own cancer sticks?

Battousai124 6

Saturday 10 December 2022 19:03

Stop buying him cigarettes, if he can't afford them, that is his problem.

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 86

Today, my boyfriend is pushing for sex even though I’ve just had spinal surgery, his reasoning being I only have to lie there, so it’s not like he’s asking me to move or actively participate. He basically wants me to ignore my pain and become a masturbation toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 159

The Top

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 216

You deserved it 3 145

Today, my 18-month-old found our "naughty drawer." I found her carrying a "toy" all over the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 956

Today, it was my brother's birthday. I was short on money but got him a present anyway. After opening it, he looked at it and said, "I didn't really want this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 803

You deserved it 2 816

Today, my alarm turned itself off, leading to me sleeping in and showing up to work two hours late. Throughout the day, I kept on fumbling my words because my job requires me to speak mostly in my second language rather than my first, and I'm not great at it. On my way home from work, I backed into a pole with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 205

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 327

You deserved it 6 080

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 865

You deserved it 5 494