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Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (45827)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, I learned I'm claustrophobic by having a raging oh-god-I'm-gonna-fucking-die panic attack while I was stuck inside an MRI scanner. FML

#21408444
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (2248)

On 05/11/2015 at 3:39pm - health - by birchbeer - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML

#21485011
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (1686)

On 10/27/2015 at 11:16am - love - by Congrats? - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

#21388731
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26922) - you deserved it (5156)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:49pm - health - by TheRunaway21 (woman) - United States

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

#21351356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26922) - you deserved it (11226)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have -$700 in my current account, $500 from overdraft fees because I spent money they told me I had. I don't get paid till the 15th and when I cash in my paycheck all of it will go to bringing me even. So the $9 I found in my wallet this morning will have to last me untill the 30th. FML

#984
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (5036)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:55am - money - by Celina - United States (California)

Today, I tried to hold my new boyfriend's hand while on a date. He let go quickly though, letting me know that we aren't at "that stage" of the relationship yet. We've been having sex for two weeks now. FML

#21485280
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (5281)

On 10/28/2015 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

#21443301
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (2636)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:08am - misc - by River (woman) -

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

#14955140
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26919) - you deserved it (5239)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

#20024180
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (1465)

On 08/16/2012 at 8:10am - misc - by mdp624 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (4693)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26914) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML



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