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Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML

#19471721
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (4193)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:55am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (50977)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (3583)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (2333)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (7348)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was putting a wooden shelf into my new TV stand. Right before I put it in, I rested it on my leg. I then realized that the wood was of poor quality, and it gave me splinters. Now, I can't remove the splinters, because I can't find their exact location under my really hairy legs. FML

#10726824
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (8424)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by HairyLeggedItalian (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally bumped into the fire alarm which set off a high pitch buzzing noise that could be heard throughout the entire dorm. It went on for at least two hours and none of the technicians could figure out how to turn it off. All the girls on my floor want to kill me. FML

#13108461
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (6284)

On 09/19/2010 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19639) - you deserved it (3360)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19638) - you deserved it (1778)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

#777
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (16309)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm - love - by Faxshadow - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

#19322341
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19636) - you deserved it (6360)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19635) - you deserved it (6074)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my first chorus concert. We got a bigger applause when we left the stage than when we sang. FML

#18916870
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19635) - you deserved it (6100)

On 01/26/2012 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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