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Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML

#550
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20634) - you deserved it (2184)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:41am - love - by Carla J. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20634) - you deserved it (9298)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I realized that I hadn't seen my video camera in a while. After searching for several minutes in my room, I remembered that I had given it to my dad to hide before our month long trip (so even if someone broke into the house the video camera would be safe). He's forgotten where he hid it. FML

#12715799
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (8456)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:25am - misc - by lostvideo - Israel (Yerushalayim)

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

#19509348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (3943)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (9454)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to help the homeless by giving them old clothes and food. In return, they decided to mug me. FML

#20008267
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (2504)

On 08/07/2012 at 7:45pm - misc - by HazzaBoo - United States

Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML

#20054257
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (1384)

On 09/02/2012 at 3:41pm - work - by zoosmell pooplord - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

#19004597
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20624) - you deserved it (5686)

On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

#1423979
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20620) - you deserved it (57704)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML

#19626758
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20621) - you deserved it (1977)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by observant (woman) - United States

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

#19990926
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (3080)

On 07/29/2012 at 2:49pm - kids - by oink oink fuck off - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

#19978741
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20617) - you deserved it (2351)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:28am - kids - by poolboy -

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said "nah". FML

#19288691
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (2050)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:24pm - health - by jarv49 (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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