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Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6354) - you deserved it (18414)
On 12/24/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6353) - you deserved it (31649)
On 08/04/2011 at 6:19am - kids - by Bobsaget00 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6352) - you deserved it (36101)
On 08/05/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Somethingswrongwiththispic (woman) - United States
Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6351) - you deserved it (18561)
On 10/22/2010 at 9:26am - work - by soapypete (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6350) - you deserved it (19213)
On 12/31/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6350) - you deserved it (45742)
On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by iJehx (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6347) - you deserved it (27663)
On 09/11/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by 0ptimu5 (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6347) - you deserved it (11873)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6345) - you deserved it (58825)
On 05/04/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by daddyslittlegirl250 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6343) - you deserved it (34274)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm - misc - by beckzx58 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6343) - you deserved it (44996)
On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States
Today, I was playing a math game with a 4th grade boy (I'm a college graduate). I cheated during the entire game, and still lost 7 of the 9 rounds we played. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6342) - you deserved it (29277)
On 08/06/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by riahta (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6339) - you deserved it (54584)
On 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm - animals - by silentbutdeadly (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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