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Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

#17810811
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19806) - you deserved it (5235)

On 09/23/2011 at 1:47am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML

#19761942
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19805) - you deserved it (1840)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Lily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19802) - you deserved it (2159)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19801) - you deserved it (3458)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

#18092215
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (1990)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm - work - by Angelica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19795) - you deserved it (32836)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

#19457706
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19793) - you deserved it (5906)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by hatemyboss - United States (California)

Today, a student of mine used the phrase "well, you know, like back in your day" about defining "going out". I'm only 24. FML

#1158
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19793) - you deserved it (1729)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:20pm - kids - by Old? - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a job in my university library. My job title is technical services. My actual job is pulling off the book label for the scanner and putting a new one on. For six hours a day. FML

#13325308
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (4116)

On 10/05/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by danrocketman - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

#17749646
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (8397)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Japaroni - United States

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (3288)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (37320)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (2447)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -



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