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Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML

#1495
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15414) - you deserved it (1935)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:40pm - love - by sad sack. - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15411) - you deserved it (3120)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML

#11986372
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15412) - you deserved it (58189)

On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my mom and her disgusting mess of a boyfriend refer to his penis as "the monkey." And she says that I hate him because I'M immature. FML

#7565920
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15404) - you deserved it (2027)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - intimacy - by emergency (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15403) - you deserved it (50603)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

#19675314
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15403) - you deserved it (3283)

On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

#19201206
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15402) - you deserved it (3328)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:19am - misc - by Urinal Fresh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

#20011258
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15399) - you deserved it (1251)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:51am - health - by MsConfusedd - United States (New York)

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I am allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

#3981210
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15397) - you deserved it (38825)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:43pm - animals - by emmey (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15396) - you deserved it (1481)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15396) - you deserved it (1818)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

#1958510
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15393) - you deserved it (54596)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

#19892824
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15391) - you deserved it (1370)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)



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