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Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20207) - you deserved it (5498)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

#19326437
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (9491)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:21pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (6466)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, I missed my dentist appointment. I couldn't attend, because I was too busy puking my guts up due to a bad reaction to the pain medication I'm taking for my toothache. FML

#19357685
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (1891)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

#19276871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (2170)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my entire region received record rainfall, with torrential downpours all day and night. Today was also the day I discovered my car's sunroof leaks, when I was greeted with two inches of standing water in my floorboards. FML

#13151203
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20192) - you deserved it (2210)

On 09/22/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by waterlogged - United States

Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML

#20091884
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20189) - you deserved it (3423)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:09am - love - by unhappy wifey (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20186) - you deserved it (7383)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML

#19211416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20186) - you deserved it (5418)

On 03/03/2012 at 10:09pm - misc - by mexicandelicacy (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

#2499784
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20180) - you deserved it (59792)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by sweet_02 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

#19488696
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (3908)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:48am - love - by James C (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (49416)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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