Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

#19369663
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (1743)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by yelyah - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (3260)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (2942)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (3657)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

#20790528
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (42043)

On 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (3308)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

#20061527
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (1992)

On 09/07/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by poopexperttt - United States

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

#6981473
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20501) - you deserved it (2394)

On 12/27/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20500) - you deserved it (49371)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML

#19569212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20498) - you deserved it (1702)

On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

#19573690
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20498) - you deserved it (2844)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Rae - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

#8507226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (2668)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by emih (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: