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Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

#563
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19282) - you deserved it (2341)

On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (3474)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

#19032712
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (3641)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:05am - health - by thairsha (woman) - Japan

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

#8148344
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19277) - you deserved it (5111)

On 02/11/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by Female - United States

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

#19314289
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19275) - you deserved it (4551)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

#13390544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (5038)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:47am - kids - by hairyarms (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

#8958709
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by whoanoa (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had my girlfriend drive me to go buy a motorcycle. I rode it 50 minutes home, got in the drive way, put the kick stand down, and then lost my balance and fell on the other side. I paid $3000 to drop it in the first hour and break the turn signal off. FML

#15755743
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (20790)

On 04/12/2011 at 1:45pm - misc - by scottskidee - United States (Ohio)

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

#19787882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (2230)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:40pm - misc - by eeeee (woman) - United States

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (40490)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (7695)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19270) - you deserved it (3136)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

#9181615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (3739)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)



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