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Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML

#17064042
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (6161)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:53am - work - by leahneedssleep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML

#20132869
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (2170)

On 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

#19464550
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (3696)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

#19907093
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (1472)

On 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm - work - by cj1012 - United States

Today, I found that my cats somehow managed to pull the plug of my fridge out of the socket. Several days ago. Now I have to get rid of a ton of stinking food and clean the stinking fridge. FML

#10863158
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22652) - you deserved it (6528)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:53pm - animals - by Alexander (man) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

#19575961
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22651) - you deserved it (1895)

On 05/05/2012 at 3:19am - health - by markzar - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

#2866
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22651) - you deserved it (1751)

On 01/27/2009 at 3:02pm - work - by Ren - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

#19039937
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22651) - you deserved it (2284)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

#6182912
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (6125)

On 11/06/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Airhead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

#8243991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:19am - intimacy - by CheatedOn (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

#18560228
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (2022)

On 12/20/2011 at 7:46am - health - by ouch (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

#18943699
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22646) - you deserved it (5106)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

#6213926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22641) - you deserved it (3525)

On 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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