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Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19704) - you deserved it (7302)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram, when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML

#15185285
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you deserved it (15101)

On 03/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Emily -

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (63719)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (7086)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (4226)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently my nose hair scares him. FML

#19238495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19694) - you deserved it (12060)

On 03/08/2012 at 9:30am - love - by hairy (woman) - Serbia

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19691) - you deserved it (4312)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML

#18956163
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19690) - you deserved it (4527)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by dumb mother (man) - United States (California)

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19689) - you deserved it (49693)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19689) - you deserved it (3173)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

#14740703
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19688) - you deserved it (3930)

On 01/28/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by Florida_1827 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19687) - you deserved it (37547)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

#7162537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (3141)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)



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