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Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

#20065231
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19896) - you deserved it (2066)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm - work - by the bad artist - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19895) - you deserved it (35887)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (1770)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML

#19492319
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (1764)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:15pm - work - by What? (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

#1529
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (7727)

On 01/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by zuut - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (39141)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (3405)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

#20051755
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (2645)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19882) - you deserved it (81702)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19881) - you deserved it (2187)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19880) - you deserved it (9728)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

#8941077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (3811)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I figured I'd throw my ex-boyfriend a compliment and told him how "gifted" he was below the belt. He thinks he's paying me a compliment when he tells me how much he loves that little roll of skin that pops up over the top of my pants when I sit down. I'm trying to lose weight, asshole. FML

#1700
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19878) - you deserved it (6775)

On 01/19/2009 at 4:21am - love - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)



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