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Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

#19958664
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22716) - you deserved it (3449)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:55am - love - by InsomniacToBe - United States (Utah)

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

#12889600
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (3096)

On 09/03/2010 at 7:02pm - health - by insomniac (man) -

Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML

#18917374
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (3765)

On 01/26/2012 at 4:57pm - work - by StupidNurse (woman) - Germany

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22712) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

#19414081
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22711) - you deserved it (4501)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm - health - by TwiceDaily,Kids (man) - United States

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (2793)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

#20064691
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (2711)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by zed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

#19254143
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (3943)

On 03/10/2012 at 10:06pm - health - by jmac (man) - United States (California)

Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

#9000843
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (1759)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22707) - you deserved it (51233)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

#20489268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22707) - you deserved it (7127)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (5468)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my landlady decided to fix the leak in my room. Her solution was repainting the ceiling. Now not only is my room still wet but it now reeks of paint thinner. FML

#5860087
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (1612)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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