Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, at work, I was caught picking my nose, on camera, in an elevator. The security guard stopped me on my way out of the building to tell me how funny it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6415) - you deserved it (18230)
On 10/30/2010 at 12:12am - work - by mortified (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6410) - you deserved it (33930)
On 08/12/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by Jason (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6404) - you deserved it (16806)
On 07/05/2012 at 11:31pm - animals - by ambushcat - United States
Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6403) - you deserved it (55736)
On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6404) - you deserved it (36521)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (82447)
On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (38553)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6398) - you deserved it (25498)
On 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm - kids - by Chan (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6397) - you deserved it (13236)
On 11/18/2008 at 4:13pm - misc - by Andy - United Kingdom (Craigavon)
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
I agree, your life sucks (6397) - you deserved it (16073)
On 01/01/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by meeranda - Sent from mobile version
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6396) - you deserved it (24317)
On 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6393) - you deserved it (22101)
On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6391) - you deserved it (32916)
On 11/27/2010 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
