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Today, I have -$700 in my current account, $500 from overdraft fees because I spent money they told me I had. I don't get paid till the 15th and when I cash in my paycheck all of it will go to bringing me even. So the $9 I found in my wallet this morning will have to last me untill the 30th. FML

#984
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (5049)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:55am - money - by Celina - United States (California)

Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML

#17148653
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (5590)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by twelfinity - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

#21346656
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (2512)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:00am - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

#8815037
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (8369)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (4083)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

#6431764
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:00am - health - by blowinchunks (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while cuddling, my boyfriend excused himself to get a napkin. When he came back, he nervously admitted he'd got a booger in my hair. He then couldn't get it completely out. FML

#18628918
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (2612)

On 12/27/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (2974)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML

#20018268
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (1633)

On 08/13/2012 at 4:06am - health - by stupid_airbag (man) - Australia

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

#15683687
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (3949)

On 04/07/2011 at 7:28pm - misc - by ihateseagulls (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (67663) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML

#21499337
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (3285)

On 12/03/2015 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -



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