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Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

#20131082
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17569) - you deserved it (4296)

On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

#19312851
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17566) - you deserved it (2024)

On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17563) - you deserved it (4056)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

#20686826
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17563) - you deserved it (44779)

On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

#14905447
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17562) - you deserved it (5423)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

#19468154
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17560) - you deserved it (10385)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by fuckbucket14 - Egypt (Al Bahr al Ahmar)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17560) - you deserved it (1729)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17558) - you deserved it (3275)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17559) - you deserved it (2693)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17555) - you deserved it (1615)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went for a job interview for a building position at a retail store. They saw on my application that I was good at math. They asked me what the circumference of a circle is. Being nervous during the interview, I accidentally said the area of a circle. I didn't get the job. FML

#19567583
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17554) - you deserved it (6265)

On 05/03/2012 at 8:16am - work - by mathguy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17551) - you deserved it (1756)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
272 comments


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