Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23074) - you deserved it (18547)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

#14606368
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (1871)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:32pm - misc - by sam -

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

#20034373
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23074) - you deserved it (1498)

On 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house and had to go to the bathroom. While peeing, I had a cough attack. The cough shook my body, making me pee all over my pants. My girlfriend's parents just arrived. FML

#14669147
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23072) - you deserved it (4067)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:36am - misc - by GuillermoCJ - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (1518)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (3547)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (76015)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (4523)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23067) - you deserved it (101510)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (47762)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

#19480957
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (6702)

On 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

#19918420
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (8580)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by Username (man) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

#18614469
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23061) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/26/2011 at 7:11am - love - by SoccerBabe42 (woman) - Canada



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: