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Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (6918)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

#18905780
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20519) - you deserved it (16373)

On 01/25/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Paicked (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

#20029295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (5307)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

#20154574
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (1616)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML

#6460097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (1910)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by whattheshit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

#6367653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20509) - you deserved it (5823)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

#19369663
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20509) - you deserved it (1743)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by yelyah - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (3260)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20509) - you deserved it (2942)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (3657)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (3308)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

#20790528
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (42037)

On 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML



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