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Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

#20091458
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (1970)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (4963)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

#8493651
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (7934)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:38pm - love - by gullible (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

#21432636
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (1737)

On 06/27/2015 at 1:48am - work - by *cough* *cough* you're a dickface (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after scouring my apartment for quarters to do laundry, I found the correct amount of change. The change got jammed in the washing machine. I now have no more quarters, and my clothes are caked with soap from washing them in the sink. FML

#20524387
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (3410)

On 02/27/2013 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to feed my neighbor's cat while he was out of town. The cat was sick, so part of my job was to give it a pill each time I came. Cats don't like swallowing pills. My neighbor forgot to mention that his cat wasn't declawed. I was wearing shorts. FML

#14199990
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (5742)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:52am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

#19907093
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (1665)

On 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm - work - by cj1012 - United States

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (2396)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

#21425769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (6468)

On 06/14/2015 at 2:35am - health - by flipflap (woman) -

Today, I stopped by my local bar to maybe meet some new people. I sat in between two groups. Within a minute both groups got up and left. FML

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

#18402392
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24658) - you deserved it (5023)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:38am - work - by ohno - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

#19948729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24657) - you deserved it (2462)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:19am - love - by lovealways22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

#20094642
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24657) - you deserved it (2135)

On 09/30/2012 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)



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