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Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

#14531234
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22631) - you deserved it (3338)

On 01/10/2011 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, when I left the restaurant, the very handsome waiter whom I had been trying to tune all night says to me, in front of everyone "But why did you write your number on the table with hearts next to it? You know, I won't call you!" FML

#504
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22630) - you deserved it (6344)

On 12/12/2008 at 11:53pm - misc - by Peel - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML

#14339155
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (3813)

On 12/25/2010 at 9:29pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at my school, we had the opening night of our production in which I act. None of my family or friends came. Basically, after 3 long months of hard work, the only person to "congratulate" to me after the show was the head of the theater department, who just wanted to tell me I was doing it wrong. FML

#6594222
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22625) - you deserved it (3310)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by drama_queen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (55426)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

#20042606
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (11235)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by S. (woman) - Estonia

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

#548295
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (63192)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (9891)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

#15104344
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22615) - you deserved it (9941)

On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

#855959
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22612) - you deserved it (94571)

On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you deserved it (10360)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22608) - you deserved it (4114)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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