Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

#17863596
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24634) - you deserved it (2829)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a letter in the mail stating that I had won a trip to Cancun, Mexico. It looked like a scam so I threw it away. I later found out that it was a birthday present from my cousin and the envelope also contained a check for 5 thousand dollars to help cover some expenses. FML

#3877056
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24631) - you deserved it (64878)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:11am - money - by Unluckyducky (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

#20088791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2837)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by kiwi2323 (woman) - United States

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

#19587881
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (2330)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

#21351356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24628) - you deserved it (10239)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML

#18145611
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (9395)

On 11/03/2011 at 6:56am - animals - by Nicole557 (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

#5054885
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (5394)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by LaurahLunatic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

#17877097
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24624) - you deserved it (5511)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML

#19575026
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24622) - you deserved it (1803)

On 05/04/2012 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML

#21346702
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24621) - you deserved it (2135)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML

#8692922
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24619) - you deserved it (2166)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:45pm - work - by mcfaily - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

#14091257
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24618) - you deserved it (5265)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:35am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

#17388781
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (3464)

On 08/06/2011 at 4:39pm - kids - by Tabby (woman) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: