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Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

#17494205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17489) - you deserved it (12213)

On 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm - misc - by otter - United States (Washington)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17488) - you deserved it (31795)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

#1639101
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (56790)

On 05/04/2009 at 7:27pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I drank a beer that I thought was mine, it wasn't and someone had put out their cigarette in it. FML

#757
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (7492)

On 11/15/2008 at 10:36pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I visited my doctor upon coming home from University. I found out that I'm severely allergic to our pet bunny, which has resulted in a rash taking over my body. She suggested that we get rid of the bunny. I told my mom. She told me to come home less often. FML

#19481808
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17482) - you deserved it (1877)

On 04/16/2012 at 11:47pm - animals - by booearns (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

#19673245
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (3789)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17475) - you deserved it (43817)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

#1429892
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17472) - you deserved it (51263)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17472) - you deserved it (5713)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17470) - you deserved it (1976)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17469) - you deserved it (6551)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

#760336
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17468) - you deserved it (68424)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by aprilfooled (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

#18967284
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17468) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/01/2012 at 7:21am - misc - by JohhnyKeroscene - United States



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