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Today, I went to see my orthodontist. He informed me that I have an underbite and I will probably need braces again. I just had them taken off last year, after five and a half years of oral hell. FML

#20044922
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (1665)

On 08/27/2012 at 6:16pm - health - by Albert (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (2785)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML

#8542819
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (5566)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:31am - love - by nomoresbfun (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21152) - you deserved it (1732)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

#5839165
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21149) - you deserved it (2217)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:16am - animals - by birdhater (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (5300)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21146) - you deserved it (9143)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21144) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after my annoying neighbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical neighbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML

#20067181
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (2439)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:11am - misc - by PissedbythePiper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, formal portraits of my entire class were posted online, with about five photos per person. As my mom was looking at them, she was commenting about how pretty all my classmates look. When she got to my photos, all she had to say was "ugh". FML

#7222160
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you deserved it (2164)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

#13064737
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (11687)

On 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out of the car to bring into the tow truck, I noticed the handcuffs from my Halloween costume were still in the trunk. The tow truck driver noticed before I did, because he smiled, winked, and asked if I needed any more help. FML

#13665915
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21136) - you deserved it (4729)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:27pm - intimacy - by jo1429 (woman) - United States (New York)



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