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Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

#19253707
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (3182)

On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML

#20974953
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (40268)

On 11/29/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by holy sleet (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML

#21424116
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26959) - you deserved it (1860)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:13pm - misc - by its still broken (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (45865)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, while cuddling, my boyfriend excused himself to get a napkin. When he came back, he nervously admitted he'd got a booger in my hair. He then couldn't get it completely out. FML

#18628918
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26951) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/27/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

#7767397
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26951) - you deserved it (3470)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (5729)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML

#21429443
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (1657)

On 06/21/2015 at 9:29am - misc - by cwell88 (man) -

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26948) - you deserved it (2303)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, an old lady in public transport yelled at me and my dog, called me a liar, and threw her grape soda over me because according to her my pet Shiba Inu was actually a fox, and keeping foxes as pets is illegal. FML

#21422437
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (1671)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:48pm - animals - by foxownerapperantly - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26945) - you deserved it (3377)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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