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Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML

#2431161
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15471) - you deserved it (51550)

On 05/30/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by eayers2689 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

#20444015
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15471) - you deserved it (2864)

On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from a police department saying that if I didn't move my car from a store's parking lot within the next 15 minutes, they were going to tow it and charge me for the fee. I was at work and the reason I parked it there is because it started smoking and almost caught fire. FML

#8984403
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15466) - you deserved it (3949)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:03pm - misc - by ohemgee (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

#8198734
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15467) - you deserved it (2581)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by lolographic24 - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

#20112067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15463) - you deserved it (3804)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15462) - you deserved it (62292)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15455) - you deserved it (44394)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15451) - you deserved it (7689)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15450) - you deserved it (2145)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

#19526549
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15444) - you deserved it (2192)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:25am - work - by IHateGroupProjects (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15443) - you deserved it (43163) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

#916470
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15438) - you deserved it (80053)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15436) - you deserved it (4279)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)



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