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Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26992) - you deserved it (3628)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML

#8748241
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26991) - you deserved it (6305)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:15pm - misc - by uwbeautyqueen12 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

#6408198
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26989) - you deserved it (5801)

On 11/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by Annie (woman) - Mexico (Coahuila de Zaragoza)

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

#5562076
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (4810)

On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (16529)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

#6710619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (9700)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

#19522593
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (2027)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:15pm - work - by Mug - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

#19896420
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (2587)

On 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by Oh dear (woman) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George)

Today, after a big presentation, people sent an open invitation to dinner. When I asked which restaurant and what time, I was told that I wasn't invited. I've been here for three years. FML

#21409208
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (2232)

On 05/12/2015 at 10:11pm - work - by spitt (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (2673)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (17040)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, on my way to my therapist, my father told me to lie to her and tell her that I'm happy so he doesn't have to drive me in anymore. FML

#19380667
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26984) - you deserved it (2207)

On 03/31/2012 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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