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Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

#8634808
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24641) - you deserved it (4216)

On 02/25/2010 at 6:46am - misc - by SayWhat (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my younger sister said that she was going to pray for her brother's HIV. I have Primary Immune Disease (PID) not HIV. School will be very interesting tomorrow. FML

#8725827
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24640) - you deserved it (1586)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss called me to his office, and played back a recording of me telling a co-worker that if I still worked there in a year, I would hang myself. He then bitched me out for unprofessional conduct. The taped conversation took place over a year ago, with my recently ex-boyfriend. FML

#16487802
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (6880)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:23pm - work - by janice - United States

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

#19995813
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24636) - you deserved it (3776)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after finally returning to my house after over a year overseas, I found that my neighbours built a wall covering the only window in my bedroom. Not only is my room eternally musty and pitch black, but the council won't accept my complaint, because apparently my window was illegally built. FML

#19072736
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (2105)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by BLAH (woman) - Philippines

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24633) - you deserved it (57729)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

#20088791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (2837)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by kiwi2323 (woman) - United States

Today, I received a letter in the mail stating that I had won a trip to Cancun, Mexico. It looked like a scam so I threw it away. I later found out that it was a birthday present from my cousin and the envelope also contained a check for 5 thousand dollars to help cover some expenses. FML

#3877056
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (64877)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:11am - money - by Unluckyducky (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

#19587881
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (2330)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

#21351356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (10238)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

#17863596
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (2829)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

#5054885
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (5393)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by LaurahLunatic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML

#18145611
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24624) - you deserved it (9395)

On 11/03/2011 at 6:56am - animals - by Nicole557 (woman) - United States



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