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Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML

#8989012
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15482) - you deserved it (1891)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by stuckathome (man) - United States

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

#13711019
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15480) - you deserved it (1896)

On 11/04/2010 at 2:41am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15478) - you deserved it (52679)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

#20053819
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15474) - you deserved it (3949)

On 09/02/2012 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML

#2431161
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15471) - you deserved it (51550)

On 05/30/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by eayers2689 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML

#20086255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15470) - you deserved it (1830)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

#20444015
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15469) - you deserved it (2864)

On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from a police department saying that if I didn't move my car from a store's parking lot within the next 15 minutes, they were going to tow it and charge me for the fee. I was at work and the reason I parked it there is because it started smoking and almost caught fire. FML

#8984403
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15465) - you deserved it (3949)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:03pm - misc - by ohemgee (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

#8198734
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15463) - you deserved it (2581)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by lolographic24 - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

#20112067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15462) - you deserved it (3803)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15462) - you deserved it (62291)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15452) - you deserved it (44395)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15448) - you deserved it (7689)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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