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Today, I figured I'd throw my ex-boyfriend a compliment and told him how "gifted" he was below the belt. He thinks he's paying me a compliment when he tells me how much he loves that little roll of skin that pops up over the top of my pants when I sit down. I'm trying to lose weight, asshole. FML

#1700
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19880) - you deserved it (6775)

On 01/19/2009 at 4:21am - love - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as a medical student working in a hospital, I asked a patient if he had any questions for me or his physician. His only question: whether or not my breasts are real. FML

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

#20073442
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19875) - you deserved it (3269)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by FullMonty (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19874) - you deserved it (1685)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

#121869
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19869) - you deserved it (49121)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19869) - you deserved it (2053)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19868) - you deserved it (51813)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, my apartment got robbed. My 'book-in-progress' should keep them company. FML

#14703374
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19866) - you deserved it (2227)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:18pm - misc - by brokenhome - United States (Texas)

Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

#627
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (4882)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:24am - misc - by mimimi - Sent from mobile version

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

#6105149
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (4804)

On 11/01/2009 at 5:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19861) - you deserved it (188234)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19859) - you deserved it (1935)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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