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Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

#17948621
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20572) - you deserved it (4192)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:13am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

#972350
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (55857)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

#18926835
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (1940)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (5672)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

#12665553
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20569) - you deserved it (16318)

On 08/21/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by thyella87 - United States (Texas)

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20568) - you deserved it (67806)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

#19478147
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20566) - you deserved it (2237)

On 04/16/2012 at 11:52am - health - by fhe - Puerto Rico

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20564) - you deserved it (11299)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20563) - you deserved it (8958)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, all the staff in my company were forced to attend an evening Chippendale show. Everyone in my department managed to think of a good reason to escape while I failed and no other choice but to go. I'm the only guy. FML

#15111819
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20562) - you deserved it (6088)

On 02/25/2011 at 5:15am - work - by yamada (man) - Singapore

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20562) - you deserved it (4172)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML

#7923030
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20559) - you deserved it (10179)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:12am - love - by snowman (man) - United States (Virginia)



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