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Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML

#13733621
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22733) - you deserved it (12713)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

#17617365
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22733) - you deserved it (2379)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by SinkyBalls - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

#12949008
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (5880)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML

#19971853
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (7391)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:24am - animals - by whymegirl - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking the bus to work and it was a rather bumpy ride. The child sitting across from me asked her mom if her chin moves like mine when the bus goes up. FML

#5949212
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (6061)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by mandy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (2065)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (4710)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a Jack's Mannequin concert. I'd asked this girl I'm interested in to come with me, and she insisted that she had to bring her two year old son with us. I'd told her it was no problem. Ten minutes into it, she said we needed to leave because it was too loud for him. FML

#8410012
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (9308)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by tyler - United States

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

#19998370
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22726) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (83904)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (8006)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

#19958664
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (3450)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:55am - love - by InsomniacToBe - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (2279)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)



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