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Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (2702)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML

#14945548
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25468) - you deserved it (17013)

On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (2042)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
122 comments

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

#13801258
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (3850)

On 11/11/2010 at 11:53am - work - by khaelian - United States (Illinois)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25463) - you deserved it (46230)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

#19635383
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25462) - you deserved it (1835)

On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my finger nail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

#19241359
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25461) - you deserved it (2773)

On 03/08/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25461) - you deserved it (2231)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

#21344628
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25461) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/26/2015 at 5:19pm - misc - by Yellow an (man) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can still have sex, right?" FML

#5222877
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (4730)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:04am - intimacy - by sunlightchild_14 (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got fired from my part-time job, because I insisted on keeping my phone in my pocket and never using it, instead of putting it in locker without a lock or security camera, that anyone can go through. The manager found out by searching my locker for the past 3 weeks. Ironic. FML

#21452906
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (2032)

On 08/06/2015 at 8:29pm - work - by Chesty Larue - United States

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25459) - you deserved it (14525)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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