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Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6459) - you deserved it (42875)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear. It wasn't until she came out of her bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6456) - you deserved it (36900)
On 11/13/2008 at 5:31am - intimacy - by Skylan - Sent from mobile version
Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6456) - you deserved it (12154)
On 01/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by bandcamp926 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6456) - you deserved it (88561)
On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States
Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6454) - you deserved it (22224)
On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6449) - you deserved it (23656)
On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States
Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6450) - you deserved it (78734)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6448) - you deserved it (19876)
On 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm - health - by Ciara (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6442) - you deserved it (32642)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I camped outside of a Best Buy to guarantee I'd get a cheap Blu Ray player. My friend who got there five minutes after they opened also managed to get one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6442) - you deserved it (26046)
On 11/26/2010 at 12:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6440) - you deserved it (13977)
On 02/19/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by queenbee12345678 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6434) - you deserved it (26767)
On 02/27/2010 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6421) - you deserved it (36389)
On 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man
Monday 20 May 2013
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