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Today, I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can still have sex, right?" FML

#5222877
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (4334)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:04am - intimacy - by sunlightchild_14 (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

#13273071
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (19854)

On 10/01/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by rosmaizura (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

#19997087
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (2127)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm - love - by daddydaughterWTF - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML

#21339043
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22377) - you deserved it (9415)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:30pm - animals - by bad luck Bianca - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

#12842003
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22372) - you deserved it (8010)

On 08/31/2010 at 6:33pm - misc - by nemi (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

#16951238
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (16626)

On 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

#18972583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22366) - you deserved it (2877)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm - kids - by Bruce (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (1550)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

#19653798
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22365) - you deserved it (1653)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

#20173269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (1403)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Ice cold (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to manscape with some Nair. Nothing helps the pain. FML

#21337697
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (8750)

On 01/15/2015 at 4:05pm - misc - by NairyAGoodIdea (man) - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

#19254143
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (3911)

On 03/10/2012 at 10:06pm - health - by jmac (man) - United States (California)



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