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Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (5389)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML

#6836721
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27137) - you deserved it (8549)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

#21412921
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27137) - you deserved it (13428)

On 05/20/2015 at 8:03am - work - by boss_daughter - United States

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (1651)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML

#6931978
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (5179)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by iFail (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML

#6843918
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (3014)

On 12/20/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by B-Rizzle (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (2294)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (3144)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to politely explain to my mother that I'm allergic to her laundry soap. She just called me crazy. I have been scratching for three days straight and my skin is almost all red. She refuses to buy anything else. FML

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

#13496435
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (5171)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:27am - work - by ktwithaq (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML

#21490845
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27129) - you deserved it (2217)

On 11/10/2015 at 2:27pm - love - by Foxy0706 - United States (Louisiana)



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