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Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

#15788112
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (5452)

On 04/14/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by markyvilla - United States

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

#19536955
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (2281)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (2606)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)

Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML

#6989281
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (11638)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:35am - work - by facepalm (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

#19667339
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (2222)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Notorch (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

#20098400
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (3354)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML

#19097249
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/16/2012 at 6:30pm - kids - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

#1542
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (1912)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

#6308799
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (2184)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:12am - work - by hanmart (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

#19099284
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (5048)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia

Today, I got a weird feeling about the account balance in my savings account. Turns out my fiancé has been using my account to order random items whenever he likes. This account is my savings for college tuition and related expenses. FML

#13360186
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (4814)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:58pm - money - by udnrizh - United States (Indiana)

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



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