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Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21750) - you deserved it (2690)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21750) - you deserved it (2536)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

#14264681
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (4986)

On 12/19/2010 at 9:26pm - misc - by me (woman) - Bulgaria

Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML

#20047754
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (1338)

On 08/29/2012 at 11:01am - money - by drixxy - United States (California)

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

#20097224
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (2209)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

#20008728
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21747) - you deserved it (2401)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

#19205582
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (8754)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21745) - you deserved it (17884)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (7538)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (1372)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

#13061135
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (3374)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Ah piss - United States (New York)

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

#12957316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21740) - you deserved it (2794)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by arose - United States



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