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Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

#6618449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (8865)

On 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by yoyo22 - United States

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

#8815037
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25541) - you deserved it (8098)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just found out that my brother in law and his wife frequent a swingers establishment that me and the wife have visited. Which is OK I suppose (providing we never see each other there) but he told me his parents go there too. FML

#637
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (5973)

On 12/30/2008 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Disturbed - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

#13822248
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (9068)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:12am - love - by baconbreath=| - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (1958)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside. Because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

#7589766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25538) - you deserved it (1940)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by dripdripdrop (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

#21435223
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25536) - you deserved it (1733)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:40am - work - by smokecloud_ - United States (Ohio)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (1920)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

#17735426
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25530) - you deserved it (3894)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

#18144949
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (3894)

On 11/03/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, a truck rear-ended my car and drove off. I could see everything from my office, everything except his license plate. FML

#18923725
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway



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