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Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6698) - you deserved it (22825)
On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6698) - you deserved it (54615)
On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6697) - you deserved it (30384)
On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My cell phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6696) - you deserved it (20626)
On 05/13/2010 at 10:11pm - misc - by BigMouth McRedface (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6696) - you deserved it (35395)
On 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6696) - you deserved it (16701)
On 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6692) - you deserved it (15677)
On 03/06/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by Octobre (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6692) - you deserved it (48882)
On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6691) - you deserved it (25754)
On 09/23/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6691) - you deserved it (33946)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6689) - you deserved it (16545)
On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)
Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6686) - you deserved it (36463)
On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6688) - you deserved it (22338)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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