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Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (38782)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (22179)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while cuddling, my boyfriend excused himself to get a napkin. When he came back, he nervously admitted he'd got a booger in my hair. He then couldn't get it completely out. FML

#18628918
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (2420)

On 12/27/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

#19618008
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (1814)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally get to go home after a 16 day training event in Colorado. The plane has been sitting in the runway for over three hours due to lightning storms and we're not allowed to leave. We've spent more time on the ground waiting than the flight itself would take. FML

#16375097
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (2895)

On 05/27/2011 at 5:13pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I accidentally sent my teacher a picture of me in my boyfriend's boxers instead of my essay. FML

#21334385
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (18864)

On 01/10/2015 at 9:35am - misc - by kb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

#18236963
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (2269)

On 11/13/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by mandie - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it was my twenty-first birthday, and a couple of friends took me out to celebrate. After ordering us shots throughout the night, my friends took off abruptly, leaving me with my very first bar tab. FML

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

#21418659
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24782) - you deserved it (5123)

On 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

#8082566
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (4042)

On 02/10/2010 at 6:47am - love - by kstaa - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML

#19987541
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (7292)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, I got a haircut, and after thanking the stylist I went up front to pay. The lady behind the counter took one look at me, smiled and said "well, now you'll need a hat." FML

#7196833
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (2323)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML

#13698709
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (11491)

On 11/03/2010 at 6:43am - misc - by MissIsabel - Sent from mobile version



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