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Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21340) - you deserved it (1817)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21336) - you deserved it (5443)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

#13453945
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21333) - you deserved it (10666)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by bcf1234 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

#14537773
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (5072)

On 01/10/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

#13010749
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21324) - you deserved it (5372)

On 09/11/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

#18034258
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (2461)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML

#20113680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (4700)

On 10/12/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by ClothesHorse (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

#7993
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (40603)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

#407
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (5232)

On 11/28/2008 at 5:28am - misc - by Gregory - Sent from mobile version

Today, I hit my boss's car. It's only my second day on the job. FML

#14230878
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (9105)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:14am - work - by iswearicandrive (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (5664)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21310) - you deserved it (4308)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21306) - you deserved it (1815)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)



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