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Today, my neighbors coated their house in flashing Christmas lights and blared out "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" all day long. Only 29 days left until Christmas. FML

#18358726
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (2902)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

#14913113
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (2438)

On 02/09/2011 at 7:41pm - work - by spiderchick23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a truck rear-ended my car and drove off. I could see everything from my office, everything except his license plate. FML

#18923725
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23619) - you deserved it (1577)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway

Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML

#6447177
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (6883)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:25pm - work - by ZombieLicker (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML

#17620224
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (7881)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML

#18014210
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (3877)

On 10/18/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaleesadavis21 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (34636)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML

#14075452
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (3578)

On 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

#20641701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (35381)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm - misc - by Fatty Fatty Fatso (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML

#8094322
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (2393)

On 02/10/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (5763)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML

#17990354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (3809)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

#20059793
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (3602)

On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)



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