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Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23225) - you deserved it (3064)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML

#16077994
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (9422)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by Cheerieful - United States

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

#19352166
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (5476)

On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (9520)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (7897)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

#14573831
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (3357)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:32am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (7205)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23218) - you deserved it (1815)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (3242)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (2354)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

#600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (16851)

On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" um. what? FML

#779
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (3047)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)



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