Health, Insects and Animals: Code red

Code red

By Zooep - 24/10/2016 13:54

Today, I had to prepare for my big meeting tomorrow morning. Before going to bed, I washed my face. Unfortunately, the towel I wiped myself with turned out to house our red ant infestation. My face looks like a ripe tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 733

You deserved it 788

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Same thing different taste

By SpideyFace - 19/03/2011 01:36 - Canada

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 912

You deserved it 5 867

By Anonymous - 04/03/2011 13:39 - Australia

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 949

You deserved it 10 350

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 1 231

By willkftw - 14/04/2019 16:00

Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 153

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 12 473

By Anonymous - 17/12/2013 17:20 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 139

You deserved it 3 283

By greeple - 10/09/2012 16:19 - Singapore

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 759

You deserved it 12 779

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 761

You deserved it 3 579

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 586

You deserved it 51 111

Freak out

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I washed my face and grabbed a towel to dry it. I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water… unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 527

You deserved it 3 966

_Adog2645 24

Tuesday 25 October 2016 15:34

I hate fire ants with a passion. My old house's yard in North Carolina was infested with them. Those things ******* hurt, I can't even imagine a ton of them biting my face.

crispiestsquid 4

Tuesday 25 October 2016 15:25

How could you pick up a towel covered in ants and not realize it? Or why at the first bite did you not stop wiping?

Comments

Alup132 22

Tuesday 25 October 2016 14:09

How could you not realize that you were bitten by a bunch of ants, and that you wiped your face with them?

almost_there44 26

Tuesday 25 October 2016 14:17

Read the FML again. He clearly realized that he was bitten, AFTER he wiped his face with the towel.

nonsensical 26

Tuesday 25 October 2016 14:12

Did you know you had a red ant infestation? If you did wouldn't you have been more careful about things you use to wipe with? Hey at least you don't need to wear blush tomorrow!

crispiestsquid 4

Tuesday 25 October 2016 15:25

How could you pick up a towel covered in ants and not realize it? Or why at the first bite did you not stop wiping?

Lepisma 38

Wednesday 26 October 2016 7:21

Neat/really awful fact about fire ants - they don't bite individually. They synchronize so that they start biting at the same time so they can send a bigger message. The "first bite" may well have been a dozen bites at once.

usnwife 18

Wednesday 26 October 2016 13:35

She may not have opened her eyes, I keep mine closed while washing to keep soap out, and often grab the towel with my eyes still closed so water doesn't run in them. Granted I am paranoid about spiders so I always shake out/check my towel before washing....

_Adog2645 24

Tuesday 25 October 2016 15:34

I hate fire ants with a passion. My old house's yard in North Carolina was infested with them. Those things ******* hurt, I can't even imagine a ton of them biting my face.

Aurora94 20

Tuesday 25 October 2016 20:23

How long have that towel been hanging there?

fastman19 20

Tuesday 25 October 2016 22:46

That bites

samlovesham1234 9

Tuesday 25 October 2016 23:55

Burn it!!!

rodrigun449 16

Wednesday 26 October 2016 4:48

It's a shame to be attacked by the beloved spicy bois. Hopefully your clientele and bosses will understand

SilmeriaKai 1

Monday 19 December 2016 1:17

I sympathize with you. When I was little I stepped in a fire ant hill and got covered. It was so awful I am terrified of ants to this day. I hope you feel better soon and call an exterminator.