Family and Sports: Capitalism, baby! - FML

Capitalism, baby!

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 16:58 - United States

Today, it's day three of my dad not shutting up and still complaining about the Super Bowl commercials being "too woke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 205

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Snowflakes

By Anonymous - 16/02/2022 12:01

Today, it's been three days since my mom starting ranting the about the "obscenity" of the Super Bowl halftime show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 117

By Colin Jr. - 23/09/2015 13:24 - United States

Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 789

You deserved it 1 686

This guy grudges

By PocketTrash - 20/03/2020 21:00

Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 222

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 143

Catchphrase hell

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 22:56 - United States

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it was. He just paused, turned to look me in the eye, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 959

You deserved it 20 510

By Anonymous - 14/07/2013 19:37 - Brazil - Campinas

Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 769

You deserved it 4 658

The blame game

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 14:44

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 1 908

By Cecilly2010 - 28/04/2011 15:53

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 611

You deserved it 5 241

Father and son time

By Loco - 09/08/2021 07:01

Today, every time I play on my PS4, my father does nothing but pester me about, "wasting my time on that garbage" and insists that I watch soap operas with him instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 88

By krystal - 27/10/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 962

You deserved it 14 432

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 10 February 2021 18:31

You need to come back and complain about Tom Brady's white privilege because he had an intact offensive line, but the black quarterback had to compete with decimated o-line. Then tell your dad that The Man rigged it that way.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 10 February 2021 18:31

You need to come back and complain about Tom Brady's white privilege because he had an intact offensive line, but the black quarterback had to compete with decimated o-line. Then tell your dad that The Man rigged it that way.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 10 February 2021 18:34

It’s the biggest game of the year...why wouldn’t they be? It should end soon when the next big game comes up

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The Top

Today, no matter how well we tried to raise out daughter, things aren't looking too bright. I was present, I listened, and she told me her problems. My husband was always there for her too, no matter what. She works and studies but her role models consist of celebrities and girls who sell themselves on OnlyFans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 150

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, I got the DVD back from a dance concert I did. After watching it, I realised that I had a camel toe through the whole thing. Three and a half hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 769

You deserved it 7 325

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 722

You deserved it 3 724

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 384

You deserved it 7 341

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 727

You deserved it 80 940

Today, I didn't want to get sand in my shoes, so I walked down to the beach barefoot. The sand was so hot that it burned the soles of my feet. I now have blisters across the bottom of my feet and between my toes… but at least there's no sand in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 485

You deserved it 4 996

Today, a woman was standing in front of me in line. There was a strand of hair on her back, so to be nice, I pulled it off her. It was still attached to her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 556

You deserved it 7 780