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Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

#17812244
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (5531)

On 09/23/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by hatty - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, I went to my academic counselor to help me deal with my stress and anxiety, which has been making me nauseous from the constant strain. She suggested exercise to help these feelings. Every time I do so, I vomit. From the anxiety and stress. FML

#5932326
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23268) - you deserved it (4867)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

#19352166
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (5475)

On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML

#19501671
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (1707)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that includes the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

#17870431
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (2558)

On 09/30/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (2354)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend woke up to the flash of a camera. It was his mother taking pictures of my shoe print on his window sill and night stand. She said she was collecting evidence proving I snuck in through his window last night. FML

#12321960
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (8985)

On 08/05/2010 at 12:38am - misc - by AmNot (woman) - United States

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

#15182858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (4756)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

#19453848
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (2917)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:30am - love - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

#19393647
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (2008)

On 04/02/2012 at 4:38am - work - by minimum wage (man) - Canada

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (9520)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML

#18284255
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (2914)

On 11/18/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Trey - United States (Texas)



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