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Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

#18905780
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (16371)

On 01/25/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Paicked (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

#6367653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (5822)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

#20151103
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (1416)

On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML

#19874685
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20502) - you deserved it (2707)

On 07/01/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by rinala -

Today, after two years of vigorously fundraising on behalf of my senior class, they voted on spending the senior trip money at a waterpark. It's less than thirty minutes from where we all live. FML

#19462590
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (2417)

On 04/13/2012 at 6:40pm - misc - by clitty clitty bang bang (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

#20154574
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20501) - you deserved it (1613)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go to the bathroom. He said "Okay baby, go drop your load." He also used the same voice as when he talks to his cat. FML

#13257198
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (3938)

On 09/29/2010 at 11:17pm - animals - by peepee. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

#20790528
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20495) - you deserved it (42016)

On 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML

#6460097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (1905)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by whattheshit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (3304)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

#20029295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (5306)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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