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Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6807) - you deserved it (16310)
On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6806) - you deserved it (21593)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States
Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6805) - you deserved it (28396)
On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6804) - you deserved it (31869)
On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, one of our store's beach balls came out of nowhere and whacked me in the back of my head. I started reaming out two young girls for playing in the store, even when they said it wasn't them. Soon after, one of my employees admitted that it was her. I made some 7 year olds cry and it wasn't them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6802) - you deserved it (36871)
On 07/03/2009 at 11:04pm - work - by Missa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughters ballet class I got pulled over 2 houses away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6802) - you deserved it (80104)
On 06/30/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6801) - you deserved it (30575)
On 10/21/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Victoria - United States (Georgia)
Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6799) - you deserved it (14323)
On 12/30/2008 at 1:00pm - misc - by MikeMoosey - United States (California)
Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6798) - you deserved it (15811)
On 01/09/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by Elizabeth - United States (Texas)
Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6795) - you deserved it (2788)
On 04/23/2012 at 9:22am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6794) - you deserved it (28775)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6792) - you deserved it (20964)
On 08/09/2012 at 8:02pm - animals - by couchsurfer - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the airport with my mom, who requested a wheelchair for me, since I have a broken leg. I'm 24. Embarrassed, I insisted I push myself around, instead of an airline assistant doing it. A few seconds later, I crash into the same airline assistant, who then falls back into my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6789) - you deserved it (17476)
On 09/15/2010 at 11:53am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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