Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

#19288997
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15814) - you deserved it (3522)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by fuck the fucking cops (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15813) - you deserved it (174249)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML

#20071794
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15811) - you deserved it (1599)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

#20038693
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15806) - you deserved it (2164)

On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States

Today, after we got home from the doctor's office, my mom checked the voicemail. Loud and clear, we both heard my boyfriend's break-up message. My parents had already forbidden me from dating. FML

#17928381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15796) - you deserved it (22297)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pissed off. I kicked a soccer ball into my wall, and it bounced back, hit my head and knocked me into the wall behind me. My head hurts like hell. Even inanimate objects hate me. FML

#1448827
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15793) - you deserved it (56566)

On 04/29/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Cammy (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

#2777
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (18830)

On 01/27/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML

#6967912
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (3296)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by jaded_woman (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

#19382117
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (1796)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by freakofnature (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (1974)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML

#19532931
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (3354)

On 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by HAIRY (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

#19152367
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15777) - you deserved it (1613)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: