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Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

#1942
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (2358)

On 01/20/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by nicegirl08 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (6103)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML

#13496277
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (7876)

On 10/18/2010 at 6:49am - misc - by obsceene - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (19488)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I owed my school $0.20. They decided to charge me a late fee of $20 for deferring the intial payment. FML

#5814625
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25854) - you deserved it (3534)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:04am - money - by latepayer (man) - United States (Michigan)

 Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

#14092171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (3940)

On 12/05/2010 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

#13889656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (3636)

On 11/18/2010 at 5:33pm - misc - by The Christmas Grinch - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML

#8929272
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (4750)

On 03/08/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by yayaimannoying (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my little sister came up to me holding up my phone. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't dropped it in the toilet first. FML

Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (40814)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML

#17826204
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (3043)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:17am - work - by ouch. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad turns around and says he was expecting him to have a guide dog. This is why I don't have much confidence in myself. FML

#19690417
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (1868)

On 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by hitnmiss66 (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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