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Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (8877)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20193) - you deserved it (9600)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (2354)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (67141)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to dinner with my girlfriend of 2 months. This would have been great, had I not been nodding absentmindedly when she suggested that we start planning our wedding soon, because "she's always dreamt of being married on the same day as Brad and Angelina." FML

#20440111
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20193) - you deserved it (21411)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:47am - love - by Brad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

#19893089
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20189) - you deserved it (2125)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20188) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20187) - you deserved it (60775)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML

#19797728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20187) - you deserved it (2091)

On 06/16/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by gabby - United States

Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML

#2736188
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20183) - you deserved it (44793)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:39am - health - by fatty (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

#14282148
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20182) - you deserved it (37772)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by fail (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20181) - you deserved it (32085)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20180) - you deserved it (1717)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States



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