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Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8215) - you deserved it (43183)
On 07/19/2009 at 2:45am - love - by DramaQueen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8215) - you deserved it (30457)
On 08/08/2009 at 1:04am - work - by ilikemusicokay (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8215) - you deserved it (47662)
On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8217) - you deserved it (17871)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8213) - you deserved it (23913) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8212) - you deserved it (64091)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8209) - you deserved it (16731)
On 09/15/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by ForeverAlone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8206) - you deserved it (20248)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (20998)
On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8206) - you deserved it (9685)
On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to show us an example of the type of shoes we would be wearing in the show. She brings in a pair of hideous black combat boots, and I remark how ugly they are. They're her own favorite boots. I had to carpool with her after rehearsal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8203) - you deserved it (42013)
On 04/03/2009 at 1:10am - work - by Boothater (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8202) - you deserved it (70412)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8202) - you deserved it (22719)
On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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