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Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (2993)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26054) - you deserved it (2655)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I noticed that even though I got all my Christmas shopping done a month earlier than usual, I forgot to put anything in the mail. FML

#21321340
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (7362)

On 12/21/2014 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (1812)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

#21368765
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26051) - you deserved it (2273)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:26pm - work - by phishy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

#16277483
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (45089)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (2121)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

#6821281
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26041) - you deserved it (10972)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

#13611017
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26041) - you deserved it (5950)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

#19850668
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (11989)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26038) - you deserved it (52788)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26037) - you deserved it (3231)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)



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