The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

I love rock n roll

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 14:00

Today, while I was singing a song with my guitar at a college open mic, my eyes started to burn, causing me to tear up and stop playing. Everyone in the audience thought I'd actually started to cry mid-performance. I ended up having to leave the stage teary-eyed and embarrassed myself in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 164

Fairy tale

By Anonymous - 04/12/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my whole office is treating me like a pariah because I rejected the new guy who has autism. I have a history of being domestically abused so why should I date a guy who, by his own admission, loses his temper easily and attacks people? That’s right, I shouldn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 120

Social safety nets, now!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 04:00 - Malta - Tarxien

Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 146

Unsociable media

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 00:01

Today, I'm a social media manager, and a client complained about having to put forward her personality to gain followers, also refusing to promote her works personally on camera. She's an actress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 106

Tradcath

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 16:30

Today, my husband won’t speak to our son anymore, because our son has slowly become more religious and is now studying to be a priest, "bringing shame on the family" as my husband calls it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 259

Nostalgia goggles

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 04:59

Today, I found out my ex broke up with me after 3 years because he's still in love with his ex, who he hasn't spoken to in 6 years. And she dumped him for the same reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 181

Tyranny

By Anonymous - 28/07/2021 16:01 - Indonesia - Balikpapan

Today, I got called "useless" by my mother for not doing what she wants me to do. She also said that I've accomplished nothing, and that I can’t and never will. It’s barely 10 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 165

The sunk cost fallacy

By Stephanie - 02/10/2022 20:00

Today, I finally got over my ex and his past of constant lying/cheating/manipulation in our relationship. Only… I'm still living in his house with all of my stuff and my cat, because I've already paid him my half of his mortgage for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 270

Boring pandemic

By Anonymous - 08/02/2022 06:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I've been off work for 10 days because my Covid test came back void so I had to get tested again. I went back for 3 days, and now I'm Covid positive to have to isolate again. I live by myself and have no pets. I've run out of stuff to watch on Netflix. My only entertainment is my robot vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 207

Alexa, play "Loveless" by MBV

By arimylove1 - 24/01/2023 09:30

Today, I've never been so lonely nor felt so romantically neglected as when I got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 170

The Blob

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 17:02 - Germany

Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 294

Badmouthing

By can'tbreathe - 06/05/2022 06:01

Today, I contemplated leaving my husband because his best friend is overbearing and doesn't respect the boundaries of our relationship, all while talking bad about me to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 146

You may be entitled to compensation…

By Anonymous - 06/12/2021 14:01

Today, I was working when a forklift came speeding out a trailer without honking. I jumped out the way, only to trip over something and fall out the dock door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 109

Mean Girls 2: Regina Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my old high school class has a friend group on Facebook, so I applied to join but received a very frank and nasty message. Apparently they all remember me as “the Bullying Mean Girl” and all voted not to let me join. I was a nerd in high school and I was nice to everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 359

Sting

By gimme beer - 13/06/2023 18:00

Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 156

Brand recognition

By Okay doctor - 26/02/2022 10:00

Today, after a 20-minute conversation, I'm still unable to convince my grandmother that Tylenol and Acetaminophen are the same thing. I just graduated med school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 89

Black Mirror

By Outandaway - 17/06/2023 10:00 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, a self check-in hotel charged me 50 bucks for an iPad charger I allegedly stole. On the security footage I can be seen removing a charger. It was my own charger that I'd plugged in because the iPad for the check-in didn't work and the charger was missing. I even contacted the helpline about it, which can be seen on the footage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 101

New Power Generation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2021 23:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument over whether Prince actually appeared in an episode of New Girl. He refused to believe me, saying it was "too weird". I had to find the specific episode to show him. He then said, "Are you sure that's really Prince?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 179

Sick of this shit

By Amy - 20/07/2023 22:00 - United States - Avondale

Today, after 3 days of being admitted to the hospital, I don't have appendicitis. I have a bacterial infection in my intestinal tract, with gut-wrenching pain and brutal diarrhea for over a week. They can't give me anymore Imodium, I just have to let it run its course. This is the second time I've had this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 121

Grow a backbone time!

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 23:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I had to stop going to university with 2 years left because my parents feel it's not the right course for me. I am 23 years-old, living with my parents, $2 to my name and no job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 311

Mystery woman

By Anonymous - 15/02/2021 07:58

Today, my husband of 4 years is tagged in a #ValentinesDayChallenge post on Facebook. No, I didn’t tag him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 122

By ccrex - 05/08/2019 20:00

Today, I put my phone on top the car while putting my daughter in her car seat. Told myself not to forget it. Then I drove away, and it flew off the top of the car on the freeway. It got ran over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 1 553

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 22:00

Today, I was standing at our fence welcoming our new neighbors as they moved in. My 85-pound boxer thought it would be a good idea to start sprinting along the fence line so their dog would join in. He crashed into my right knee at full speed. I now have a sprained and/or torn MCL and PCL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 177

Flying disaster

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 144

Memento

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 14:00

Today, I saw a photo of my wife's ex sucking her boobs in her old phone. I'd told her about em, but she appears to have still kept them because it's a year later, and they haven't been deleted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 235

Broke as ever

By PolarBear2020 - 04/10/2022 12:00

Today, I've been broke for so long that I felt a pang of envy when a character in a movie said that that they'd bought a tiny cup from a gift shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 178

I CAN HEAR YOU

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 20:02 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, as usual, my flatmate is so loud when talking face to face that my ears and head rattle. I can't say anything because how dare I suggest there's anything wrong with my roommate's hearing. Yet nobody else talks this loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 156

Bon appétit

By StijnDescamps - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 2 581

Bat out of Hell

By ToxynneFlute - 05/09/2021 23:01 - United States - Battle Creek

Today, my kid threw a fit on our way home, wanting me to stop and call grandma. Why? Because she was convinced I was going to wreck the car, and grandma is a good driver who won't crash. When we got home, she stopped fussing, said, "Thank god, we're home," ran up to grandpa and said, "Mom's a scary driver." She's 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 400

Thanks Mom

By Anonymous - 09/12/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 136

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The Top

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 441

You deserved it 5 269

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 732

You deserved it 3 402

Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 079

You deserved it 202

Today, I went to the local street fair and ran into my boyfriend of five years. He was with his girlfriend of ten years. We both had no idea about each other. His family knew we both existed, and never said a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 144

Today, more time goes by, more I’m going to have to accept that my 13 year-old sister is going to end up with size DD boobs, possibly even bigger, meanwhile I'm turning 25 this year and my boobs are stubbornly stuck at a B. Life ain’t fair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 443

Today, I was waiting at the airport for a flight when I looked down and realised that I had booked the wrong date. Frantically, I tried to rebook the flight, but it was completely sold out. Now, I'm stuck in the airport for the next 24 hours with nothing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 791