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Today, I got through to the phone interview stage for a great job. When the phone rang, I answered and suddenly, spontaneously, burped really loudly. The interviewer hung up. FML

#9396047
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (9797)

On 03/26/2010 at 5:44am - work - by urrrppp (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (3983)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

#19129542
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/21/2012 at 4:53am - work - by kat (woman) - Reserved

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

#19920264
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (1509)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (2805)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

#18055986
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23747) - you deserved it (6424)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:02pm - animals - by kengu (woman) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (2708)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (1663)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23744) - you deserved it (4245)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23743) - you deserved it (6456)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

#19247748
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23740) - you deserved it (2883)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

#19649940
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23740) - you deserved it (2191)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

#8541185
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23739) - you deserved it (2841)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:44am - health - by Username - United States



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