Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (3119)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

#8220322
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16609) - you deserved it (4675)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by Decker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16608) - you deserved it (11913)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

#7844166
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16606) - you deserved it (6190)

On 02/03/2010 at 11:02am - health - by Sherlock - Sent from mobile version

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16604) - you deserved it (2737)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

#20060408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (3857)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm - work - by SummerJob (woman) -

Today, I was listening to my favorite radio station outta Detroit. A commercial came on for a program that was giving federal grants to people who were going into a trade, like me. Right as I was getting excited I heard the words "brought to you by the government of Canada." FML

#8116532
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16602) - you deserved it (4705)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:13am - work - by brit - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

#19942107
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (5267)

On 07/15/2012 at 5:52pm - health - by Tori (woman) - Australia

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 the workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

#19626293
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16599) - you deserved it (1368)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

#20071743
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16595) - you deserved it (1096)

On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States

Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML

#13925206
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16586) - you deserved it (2671)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:36pm - kids - by kaileekat517 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML

#20113680
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16585) - you deserved it (3477)

On 10/12/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by ClothesHorse (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16584) - you deserved it (1259)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: