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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized that the only positive accomplishment my boyfriend has made in the last 3 years is that he started wearing deodorant. FML

#20525032
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25217) - you deserved it (7243)

On 02/27/2013 at 10:28pm - love - by butterflyzag20 - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (2068)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML

#6069293
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (6462)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (2917)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML

#21440548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (1506)

On 07/12/2015 at 3:39pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML

#13499109
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25208) - you deserved it (4227)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:02pm - health - by bjevilcat2 - United States

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25208) - you deserved it (2775)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, I got in an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

#13153251
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25206) - you deserved it (3853)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML

#18272596
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25206) - you deserved it (6183)

On 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Damnit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

#19283430
192 comments

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

#8169467
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25204) - you deserved it (4484)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:34pm - health - by justmyluck - United States

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (2850)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

#18065125
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (2040)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:06pm - health - by Britney - United States



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