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Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

#19700460
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (2561)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

#4119
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (5357)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by fuckit - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (4913)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (7328)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

#21408702
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (1984)

On 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

#12077410
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27531) - you deserved it (10081)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:09am - kids - by HarvestMoon_gal (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

#18603475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27531) - you deserved it (3653)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML

#21322225
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27529) - you deserved it (2480)

On 12/22/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

#21465314
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27529) - you deserved it (7453)

On 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a trip with some people from work to watch a baseball game. Halfway through the game, one of my managers shook my hand and said "Nice to Meet You." I've been working there for 3 months. FML

#12472687
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27527) - you deserved it (4355)

On 08/12/2010 at 5:03am - work - by skyphoenix (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

#15185278
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (8052)

On 03/03/2011 at 9:21am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out I have to give my father-in-law back the football tickets he gave me for my birthday. Why? His girlfriend decided she wanted to go. He didn't get me a different gift. FML

#18434015
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (2347)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Sal (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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