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Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (45512)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

#5772637
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (3612)

On 10/11/2009 at 6:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (2570)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML

#19641657
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (2013)

On 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by ohyesIfeelspecial (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (34519)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

#19996404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (4129)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by jessmess (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

#13276180
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (2585)

On 10/01/2010 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML

#18913087
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (2712)

On 01/26/2012 at 12:19am - health - by NeedaNosePlug (woman) - United States

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

#19631611
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (9115)

On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (74737)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (43567)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I dropped my car keys down the elevator shaft at my dorm. I had parked my car at a parking meter, and now had no way to get change out of my car. It took six hours for someone to get my keys, and I now have a $75 parking ticket. FML

#9128496
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (4312)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:31am - misc - by Lea (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

#20192286
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (2019)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States



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