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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

#20026393
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20982) - you deserved it (1812)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

#416
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20976) - you deserved it (8820)

On 11/29/2008 at 11:11am - misc - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

#8842
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20978) - you deserved it (4166)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by Michigan (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (6644)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (13862)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

#17845071
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (2387)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:18am - work - by CathyM - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

#14600625
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20973) - you deserved it (2352)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by ovawerkrd - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

#20077487
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (1938)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:22am - love - by thanksfamily (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (4302)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

#19997834
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (16520)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:53am - money - by busted - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20963) - you deserved it (79908)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

#316205
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20961) - you deserved it (183625)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)



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