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Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20586) - you deserved it (3043)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (9293)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
112 comments

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants by my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

#6211440
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (12303)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:50pm - misc - by lauren_rox (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (2225)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20577) - you deserved it (3053)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20577) - you deserved it (4147)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

#19009363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (6253)

On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (5493)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States

Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML

#20125135
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20577) - you deserved it (1357)

On 10/20/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by iamsolid - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

#7725800
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20575) - you deserved it (5168)

On 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm - misc - by sparkle (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

#19004597
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20575) - you deserved it (5680)

On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20571) - you deserved it (2379)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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