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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

#21396978
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (2912)

On 04/20/2015 at 5:41pm - misc - by Deli meat prom - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

#5698254
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (11571)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:57am - animals - by ScaryOldMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

#18907023
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (5838)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I totaled my car, because I mistook the leaves blowing across the road for a child. I swerved and hit a tree. The home owner wants to sue for "harming his tree" and hospital wants to test my mental stability. FML

#18884103
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24476) - you deserved it (5955)

On 01/22/2012 at 8:52pm - misc - by wrecked - United States

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

#6894688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (5283)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:05am - animals - by sleepy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (1551)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML

#7229680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (5639)

On 01/09/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by warningxxLidell (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

#7254333
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/10/2010 at 5:45am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (15247)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I logged onto a website that offered free tutoring. After chatting with the online tutor, he started flirting with me. I was just looking for some help with my homework, not a creeper. FML

#14876662
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (5629)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Chasity (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24466) - you deserved it (2358)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

#12706107
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (9538)

On 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm - misc - by lizardface (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally quit the job that I've been complaining about. Before I could tell my husband, he informed me that he had been laid off, and was thankful we still had my income. FML

#13514929
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24463) - you deserved it (15726)

On 10/19/2010 at 7:06pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Ohio)



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