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Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML

#6447177
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (6772)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:25pm - work - by ZombieLicker (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my daughter's boyfriend, who she hopes to marry. I asked what he does, to which he answered, "I'm a Flamencologist." Flamencology? The study of Flamenco? Huh? FML

#14838369
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22809) - you deserved it (6369)

On 02/04/2011 at 10:01am - kids - by dancer101 (woman) - United States

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (1537)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML

#19670300
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (2615)

On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

#13300541
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22806) - you deserved it (3753)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by tukkies (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I found out that when I thought the bullying had finally stopped, the bullies had actually been sponsored to be nice for charity. FML

#14380457
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (2210)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (40107)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (7207)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

#18958302
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (4340)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:22am - kids - by beautifulme (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (3142)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

#19652024
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (2652)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

#18831926
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (4943)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (1904)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States



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