Love, Annoying and Growing old: Happy together

Happy together

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 02:00

Today, I finally reached the age where me just being alive annoys my wife. She asked me during a movie if I “have to breathe like that because it’s so damn annoying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 153

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Same thing different taste

By cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 5 479

Bored to death

By squarecircles - 15/06/2019 10:46 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 549

Noise annoys

By Breathy - 07/09/2022 00:00

Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 132

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 20:00

Today, in the middle of one of the worst migraines of the year, I asked my wife if she could kindly stop trying to tell me about the latest neighbourhood gossip at 130 decibels. Cue her loudly nagging in my ear about how I’m mean for not wanting to spend time with her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 132

Fate, up against your will

By Gerry - 03/01/2021 17:03

Today, according to my wife of 30 years, I'm finally old enough that I look, smell, sound and act like my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 111

Commitment

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 06:00

Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 793

By Sleep Deprived - 25/12/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 188

You deserved it 3 802

Red flags everywhere

By Anonymous - 09/10/2023 15:00

Today, my wife started finding everything I do annoying, just after she passed her American citizenship test. I hope there’s no correlation between that and the eight years of support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 180

Denial

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 06:00

Today, my wife is mad because some kid in a store offered her the seniors' discount and she got offended. I had to tell her she’s 66 years-old and is actually entitled to that discount, so she should calm the hell down. She’s not spoken to me in over 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 144

Sofa King

By Anonymous - 27/05/2023 15:00

Today, and since I got frustrated at my wife as she was harping on at me, yet again, a few months ago, and I told her to shut the fuck up for the first time ever in our 25 year marriage, I’ve been sleeping on the sofa. I’m thinking of changing my address to Sofa, Fireplace Road, Living Room Town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 1 038

cuz803 44

Wednesday 5 July 2023 4:09

Couples therapy and communication? I hope that helps

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 July 2023 5:02

Get a CPAP machine. That'll shut her up real quick.

Comments

cuz803 44

Wednesday 5 July 2023 4:09

Couples therapy and communication? I hope that helps

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 July 2023 5:02

Get a CPAP machine. That'll shut her up real quick.

IHaveThePower 16

Wednesday 5 July 2023 8:39

Sooo...if someone's ragging on you for breathing funny, here's a few quick things to check: 1. Itchy throat? Coughing? 2. Tap just under and just above your eyes. Does it hurt? 3. Does your throat or chest feel randomly tight? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, you may in fact have asthma, sinusitus, or other such breathing problems. Source: This is usually how I find out I have a sinus infection.