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Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

#12641347
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (26500)

On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after spending two weeks renovating my room and $1000 on paint and a new floor, my landlord told me that he's sold the house. Also, he was kind enough to inform me that unless I paint the walls back to white, I won't be getting my $500 deposit back. FML

#13850777
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21810) - you deserved it (17493)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:06am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my 26th birthday party got busted by my parents due to them coming home early because of a flight cancellation. Everyone had to leave, but not before my mother made me go to my room. FML

#5055356
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21809) - you deserved it (44056)

On 09/05/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by joeshmoe (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (48578)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

#19290632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (7376)

On 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by danny5191 (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

#6497177
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21801) - you deserved it (12685)

On 11/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by badDriver (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (4362)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

#2804
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21800) - you deserved it (2277)

On 01/27/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by impatient amy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML

#20084453
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (1728)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking the bus to work and it was a rather bumpy ride. The child sitting across from me asked her mom if her chin moves like mine when the bus goes up. FML

#5949212
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21795) - you deserved it (5917)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by mandy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after a week of sporting what I thought was a flattering pixie cut, I realised that without my long hair, my body shape closely resembles a snowman's. FML

#17461404
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (9575)

On 08/13/2011 at 4:29pm - misc - by Karin (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I visited my doctor upon coming home from University. I found out that I'm severely allergic to our pet bunny, which has resulted in a rash taking over my body. She suggested that we get rid of the bunny. I told my mom. She told me to come home less often. FML

#19481808
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21791) - you deserved it (2608)

On 04/16/2012 at 11:47pm - animals - by booearns (woman) - United States

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

#8837679
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (5420)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)



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