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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

#8654882
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (4139)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by single now - United States

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

#19618008
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (2044)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, before going to bed my phone lit up and I got all excited because I thought it was a text message. My phone was finished charging. FML

#1611254
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (45216)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by nolove (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to the living room where my mother was so I could ask her about something. I found her lying pantsless on the couch trying to cut her pubic hair with a pair of scissors. FML

#21422975
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (1989)

On 06/08/2015 at 7:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (2482)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

#21422751
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (5023)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by LZapped (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27471) - you deserved it (34416)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML

#17783230
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27471) - you deserved it (2340)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

#14065595
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

#3934
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (1775)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

#17694552
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27466) - you deserved it (2429)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:34am - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Reserved

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

#19979145
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27465) - you deserved it (18493)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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