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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as I was riding the bus, a lady told her daughter to sit next to me. She looked at me and started to scream and cry in horror. FML

#19357176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (2465)

On 03/27/2012 at 12:32pm - misc - by AmihayG - Israel

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21325) - you deserved it (3052)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

#13622305
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21324) - you deserved it (14208)

On 10/28/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by unsatisfying (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (4022)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found the Christmas 'newsletter' my mom sends out every year to our extended family and friends that details our activities and achievements of the past year. I wasn't mentioned once. FML

#7564302
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (3092)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:32am - misc - by notworthy (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (3290)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you will be labeled as someone with a short temper. However the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

#17694865
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (2639)

On 09/08/2011 at 4:23am - work - by blue (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

#121719
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (51408)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Byron fiddles (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (2345)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

#20021274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (2430)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (2496)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (3725)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21306) - you deserved it (3846)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)



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