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Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

#5886
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24934) - you deserved it (2468)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

#19376586
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24934) - you deserved it (4820)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm - kids - by James (man) - United States

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (38349)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

#17855113
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (1907)

On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

#14389923
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (6648)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by loneliness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (10291)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (8352)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (5135)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (1926)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (17897)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, after weeks of my crazy girlfriend avoiding me because she knew I wanted to break up with her, I had no option but to do it by text. She told all my friends, who now think I'm a coward who isn't man enough to break up in person. They didn't even ask for my side of the story. FML

#21428807
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (4418)

On 06/19/2015 at 10:36pm - love - by Ngbaheir (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24926) - you deserved it (3239)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13749497
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/07/2010 at 6:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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