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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

#14574374
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (3009)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my ex-boyfriend who I am still in love with sends me a text message that says "I miss you, baby". It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML

#2236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22207) - you deserved it (1670)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by yeah... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22207) - you deserved it (2602)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

#20860218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22207) - you deserved it (32108) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/30/2013 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonyme (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

#19144209
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22206) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:59am - love - by atsukobo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML

#13090304
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22203) - you deserved it (2733)

On 09/17/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

#18459141
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22203) - you deserved it (2758)

On 12/08/2011 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I purchased a brand new television. Not long after the professional who hung it on my wall left, it came crashing down on my hardwood floor. I'm now left with a busted TV, a tear in my living room wall, and a severely drained bank account. FML

#20125611
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (2369)

On 10/20/2012 at 6:48pm - money - by fuck gangnam style in the anus - United States (California)

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (3059)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the shower getting ready for a date, when my older sister thought it would be a laugh to turn out the light. Getting out of the shower to turn it back on, I slipped and hit on my head on the counter. Thanks, sis. FML

#8250617
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (2649)

On 02/14/2010 at 2:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

#8663414
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22199) - you deserved it (2077)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Ineedit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a road-trip with some of my buddies, when we stopped at a gas station. When I opened the door to their bathroom, brown water flowed out, soaking my legs up to my knees. I then spent another 2 hours in an enclosed vehicle. FML

#7860912
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (1881)

On 02/03/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by UptoHERE (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

#19417641
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (5724)

On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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