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Today, as part of the treatment for my bulimia, my doctor informed me that I will not be allowed to go to the bathroom unsupervised. Meaning there will have to be another person in the bathroom with me at all times. I have a nervous bladder. I couldn't go if I wanted to. FML

#17977413
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (12980)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (2433)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

#19742208
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (3165)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by that girl. - United States

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States

Today, I almost missed the bus. I grabbed my backpack and ran out the door. It wasn't until after we got to school that I realized I was still in my slippers. FML

#16493871
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23675) - you deserved it (8522)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:00am - misc - by Connie - United States (New York)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23633) - you deserved it (9450)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23673) - you deserved it (2230)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23670) - you deserved it (7275)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23669) - you deserved it (7830)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML

#14286772
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23666) - you deserved it (10316)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend who I am still in love with sends me a text message that says "I miss you, baby". It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML

#2236
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23666) - you deserved it (1830)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by yeah... - United States (Ohio)

Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML

#18306908
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23665) - you deserved it (2145)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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