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Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22785) - you deserved it (3561)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (7893)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

#17837331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (4148)

On 09/26/2011 at 3:26am - misc - by Nudge23 - Australia

Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

#19896001
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22778) - you deserved it (2208)

On 07/05/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by 303 - United States (Texas)

Today, I called out "personal" from work because I had to study for a major test that is taking place tomorrow. An hour later my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously", then I got an email that the test is being postponed. FML

#9081511
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (3477)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:13pm - work - by Laurendorcus - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

#18898180
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (3698)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:42am - work - by communistgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22772) - you deserved it (6914)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (2105)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

#13508012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22770) - you deserved it (7904)

On 10/19/2010 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

#20173186
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (1431)

On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (45279)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (16819) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, my Dad's banjo arrived, as part of his mid-life crisis. It would be fine if he could play it but unfortunately he's tone deaf. He hasn't stopped playing it for the last 4 hours. FML

#17927244
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (2269)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



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