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Taday I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read ( Well son this diary proves that your ahiny asshole - Dad. ) Thanks Dad from beyond the grave. FML
Today, When Putting Something Away On A High Shelf, Something Small An Black Fell Down My Cleavage. I Thought Nothing Of It An Finished The Task At Hand. When I Pulled Out The Neck Of My Shirt Later To Fine It An Looked Down, Glaring Up At Me From My Boobs Was A Large, Disgruntled Spider. Real FML
Today , I moppd all the floors in my house. When I was finally done , I accidentally knockd over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around , step in the soda , and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
Today,hile correcting essays, I spilld ketchup on a student's paper. I managd to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face buthen proudly looking at the result, noticd it was right next to the big ( F ) that I had gradd it. FML
Friday 27 March 2015