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Today, I woke up really tired after a night of just two hours sleep. The reason? The mall across the street forgot to turn off their music. It played Christmas songs all night. Loud. FML

Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML

#14114912
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16639) - you deserved it (2774)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:28am - work - by anonymous-canada -

Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML

#17716770
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16636) - you deserved it (11018)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by dangit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML

#7127845
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16632) - you deserved it (6477)

On 01/03/2010 at 3:21pm - money - by brokeandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

#18599124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16632) - you deserved it (1731)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16630) - you deserved it (42420)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16629) - you deserved it (2690)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16628) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

#17980981
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16626) - you deserved it (1896)

On 10/14/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by cnkk07 - United States

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16623) - you deserved it (2371)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML

#3921991
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16617) - you deserved it (40973)

On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

#9021886
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16617) - you deserved it (4083)

On 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16615) - you deserved it (3057)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States



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