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Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML

by SadBride / 09/07/2015 at 8:39pm / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, I was floating on a river with some friends when I accidentally splashed one of their girlfriends in the face. She started crying and everyone gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the trip. We are all 26 years old. FML

by nightwalker2253 / 11/16/2015 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a bunch of friends over for a party. My mom came stumbling into my room, crying about how she was officially menopausal, and that I was going to "die an only child." FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 11:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

by shygirl / 05/20/2012 at 9:13am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML

by el211 / 03/15/2010 at 3:35am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, whilst in the last week of my notice period, I was instructed by my boss to tell six new employees that their jobs had fallen through before they'd even started. Later that afternoon, I received a call from my line manager. Guess whose own job has fallen through too. FML

by Karma / 04/21/2015 at 12:45pm / United Kingdom (Newport) / Work

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 11:27am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

by CRC / 11/23/2011 at 10:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML

Today, I was asked by a total stranger if I had Tourettes. This is the third time this has happened to me. FML

by Evra / 01/23/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said "girls don't wear deodorant". He actually believed that. FML

by stanky / 06/19/2015 at 10:47am / United States (Ohio) / Health