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Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML

#15170872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you deserved it (2593)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:22am - work - by AntiBobTheBuilder (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

#20002131
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you deserved it (6261)

On 08/04/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by ooops (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

#8246413
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20310) - you deserved it (4122)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Fv-day (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML

#18090204
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20307) - you deserved it (3558)

On 10/27/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by omgomgomg (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20306) - you deserved it (29916)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, my roommate decided to turn off all appliances in the house to "save" electricity. This included the refrigerator. FML

#20088101
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20304) - you deserved it (1284)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by Jograd - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (1858)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

#19908614
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (5810)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:47am - animals - by scorpionsurviver - United States

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20295) - you deserved it (5140)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

#20037445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20295) - you deserved it (1530)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

#19508407
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (2015)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (7837)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20283) - you deserved it (3591)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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