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Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7661) - you deserved it (17649)
On 12/22/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by themonkeyman - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a v-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year old grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7659) - you deserved it (41251)
On 12/01/2010 at 8:14pm - love - by agentile (man) - United States
Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7656) - you deserved it (30230)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, at physical therapy the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said "hey sweet ipod". She said, "actually i have diabetes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7655) - you deserved it (29202)
On 02/16/2009 at 8:31pm - health - by LA (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I gave my friend a ride to town so she wouldn't have to pay the $10 to park. While waiting to pick her up, I grabbed a bite to eat. Upon returning to my car, I found a $55 parking ticket on my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7654) - you deserved it (16026)
On 12/04/2010 at 4:04pm - money - by Username - United States
Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7653) - you deserved it (37007)
On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7646) - you deserved it (38860)
On 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Hailey - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one ringing me from down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7646) - you deserved it (25692)
On 04/07/2011 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7644) - you deserved it (29480)
On 02/15/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by gregoyles (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, after five different interviews, I got an offer for a great job. I was excited to fill out paperwork and get the ball rolling, until they called and said that I didn't pass the criminal background check. I get off probation in less than a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7643) - you deserved it (24007)
On 02/18/2010 at 12:41pm - work - by prisonbitch - United States
Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7643) - you deserved it (29219)
On 02/11/2010 at 12:33am - intimacy - by CatWoman (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7642) - you deserved it (47731)
On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by imnotcool (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7641) - you deserved it (71395)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Friday 24 May 2013
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