The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Judge and jury

By ToxicSiren - 06/02/2021 14:01

Today, I posted a picture to Snapchat about being depressed. My close friend, who I share most things with, made fun of my post. That's the last time I share anything with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 204

Letting yourself go

By Fat man pube - 29/03/2021 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after months of isolating and shielding, suffering through the isolation of having caught COVID and letting my hygiene, diet and exercise programme go to shit, I can officially say my pubes are now longer than my penis, but it’s ok because my belly now hangs over my belt so I can’t even see it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 757

Work faster

By Shoot me now - 15/09/2022 14:00 - United States - Falls Church

Today, my boss accused me of eyeing for a promotion when I suggested a solution to save our team time by staying on a 2-hour schedule in the mornings. He told me we average 3 hours for our production, but his goal for this area is 90 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 115

Chill?

By stickygoober - 20/11/2018 22:00 - United States - Peoria

Today, my boss sent a message to a coworker saying, "We're putting all of you back on the phones because one of you can't stop watching Netflix so corporate thinks you guys don't do anything." That person was me. Everyone's pissed at me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 7 394

No, you don't

By tianap89 - 15/11/2023 00:00

Today, I’m eating a salad with a sparkling water once again. I’m 7 months pregnant. My husband says he’ll leave me if I ever get too fat after I give birth. I can’t afford to be a single mom, nor leave the marriage, so this is the cross I have to bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 284

Close shave

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 15:00 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I was almost hit by a bus, missing me by a few centimetres, and only because I jumped back the moment I heard its horn. I was using the zebra crossing, and the lights were green for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 139

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

By Courtney - 30/10/2022 14:00

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 132

Get your own food, lady!

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 06:00

Today, I'm so nice, I allowed my landlady to use my freezer in the hallway. In exchange, she's so nice, she feels entitled to take my food being stored in said freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 190

The people of TikTok must be stopped

By Phil The Man - 04/09/2023 05:00

Today, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when I felt something crack on my head. My 6 year-old son had just smashed an egg into my hair. When I asked why, he said, "Mom does it for TikTok." This is how I found out that my wife has been "pranking" him for likes, and thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 128

Gas giant

By StinkBomber - 11/08/2021 08:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, while dropping my daughter off at soccer practice I was talking about my gym routine. Her friend said, "Your dad's going to be the new god of thunder." My daughter was like, "He already is, but for different reasons." Everyone got the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 221

One rule for thee…

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I got screamed at by my boss for holding a guy to corporate policy at a rental agency. The guy was rich, so apparently rules don't apply to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 88

Some friends you've got there

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 17:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I wrote a post about how I was thinking of attempting suicide. Not one single person contacted me to see if I was alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 640

It's fine

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 06:00

Today, I rushed back to my car, as the parking meter was about to expire. I got fined by the police for jaywalking, which allowed just enough time for the parking meter to expire, and to get a fine for that too. I probably would have made it in time if I just walked calmly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 337

Jealous weirdo

By Veronica - 22/12/2022 21:00 - United States - Palm

Today, I was at work when my ex and his girlfriend came in. She went on to claim that I was excited when I saw him… but I was actually happy because my shift was ending in 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 148

This Charming Man

By Anonymous - 29/01/2021 08:01

Today, I met what I thought was a decent guy, via an introduction by my pregnant friend. She's dating his brother. The guy was dropping my friend and me off, but on the way out of the door he slapped her on the butt and smiled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 116

BO issues

By morgan - 11/11/2022 06:00

Today, my girlfriend showered ten times, used an entire tube of deodorant, and continued to stink. It’s been like this for the past week, despite it being cold outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 133

Family ain't all it's cracked up to be

By Fitz - 09/09/2021 22:59

Today, I finally read an email I'd been avoiding. I thought it would be from my dad whom I haven't spoken to in years, and that he was checking on me during the pandemic. It turned out to be spam. The last contact I had with anyone related to my dad was one of his ex's friends, saying she was in jail and needed help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 115

Baby's high

By Anonymous - 08/01/2021 17:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I think my cat is getting high. Whenever she finds her drug of choice, she sniffs it, then rolls around in it, purring ecstatically. Typical catnip reaction, right? Wrong. It’s my dirty underwear she's into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 173

Crime doesn't pay

By honest mistake! - 21/07/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I was humiliated, detained, and questioned by police when I tried to leave a store with an unpaid item. I honest to God didn’t see the item because it'd slid under my toddler daughter's leg while she sat in the basket. The store refused to believe me, even when I tried to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 174

Dangerous drive

By WAKE UP - 03/05/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my uncle was driving my mom and me to his house. We caught him nodding off numerous times, and I'm pretty sure he actually fell asleep at least once. We were on the highway. The car suddenly started swerving several times whenever he was getting sleepy. I think I have some grey hairs now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 134

Consolation prize

By Anonymous - 10/10/2021 02:00 - Australia - Bairnsdale

Today, I realised my bestie ditched me for her best friend, which was fine because it's her first. But then I found out she's been hanging out with other new friends and never once thought to hit me up, until I messaged her about feeling sad we hadn't hung out in a while because of the pandemic. Guess it wasn't just the pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 157

Fight like hell

By Glass Joe - 24/05/2022 04:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that kicking an armed mugger's ass is something that only happens in movies, and that brass knuckles are really fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 294

Priorities

By Jamal - 19/08/2022 04:00

Today, after three years of relationship, my ex broke with me because if we continued dating, she wouldn't have any free time to play Clash Royale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 134

But mah grandbabiiiiies

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 02:00

Today, according to my mom, she didn’t make the selfless decision to have me just for me to grow up and make the completely selfish decision not to marry my long term partner, nor to give her any grandkids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 179

Do not disturb

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 14:00

Today, I’m camping in the middle of nowhere and my mom wrote me not one, but two emails asking where my car keys are, because she needs to move my car. She apparently did not think to check in the key cabinet first. You know, the one where we keep… keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 110

Misinformation

By Andrea - 04/01/2021 16:59

Today, my brother-in-law declared he does not want to be vaccinated against Covid, because his friend, who is a nurse, told him it could make him impotent. Can please someone remove her from the health system? FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 197

Body positivity week

By FattieFatFat - 05/09/2023 14:00

Today, I overheard my crush and his friend talking about girls they would date. When his friend mentioned me, my crush said, “If she wasn’t fat, hell yeah.” Choking back tears at school for the rest of the day was not an easy task. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 294

Snowflakes

By Anonymous - 16/02/2022 12:01

Today, it's been three days since my mom starting ranting the about the "obscenity" of the Super Bowl halftime show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 155

The topic at hand

By Frustrated Student - 30/10/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in a group project with three other people who spent the whole period trying to figure out how old the teacher was. Good news: They came to the conclusion that he must be around 35-40 years old. Bad news: we are gonna have a hard time finishing this project if they don't pull their weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 106

Gig economy

By Doordean - 13/03/2023 12:00

Today, the dean of the university I go to delivered a DoorDash order to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 144

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The Top

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 153

You deserved it 5 992

Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 489

You deserved it 2 567

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 805

You deserved it 12 336

Today, in the middle of a pandemic, which has made it impossible for me to get a job for the last 4 months, my landlord has decided the one thing I need is a rental increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 821

You deserved it 217

Today, all of my friends are complaining about weight gain due to the pandemic. Instead, I have remained the exact same size, but completely unable to sleep or digest my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 95

Today, I was sitting on the bus and the guy in front of me turned around and asked for a dollar. I politely said no. Now he won’t stop farting. I literally hate leaving my house anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 78