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Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

#21062817
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (56553)

On 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (2793)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

#1215114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22186) - you deserved it (42573)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)

Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML

#1386673
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22184) - you deserved it (67026)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:54am - love - by mammamia (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22181) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22181) - you deserved it (2391)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22182) - you deserved it (3213)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

#13919732
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (3018)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Random Person - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

#19297071
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (1837)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm - misc - by vanorav (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22179) - you deserved it (34887)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML

#17990354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22176) - you deserved it (3654)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (216751)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)



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