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Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML

#17931151
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25121) - you deserved it (2111)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

#8038027
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25119) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by wurtabang - United States (Virginia)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML

#14331455
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/25/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

#13045440
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (6173)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:57am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25113) - you deserved it (2910)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25113) - you deserved it (6372)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML

Today, I took my first day off in 3 weeks just so I can sleep in. The office secretary woke me up at 7.12 am with a page wishing me a nice day off. FML

#6823511
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25112) - you deserved it (3493)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:39am - work - by Hareega (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25111) - you deserved it (4809)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25110) - you deserved it (1620)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the money my husband and I gave to my son for university courses, has instead been spent on pole dancing lessons. FML

#19160986
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (3297)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:40pm - kids - by jj159 (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking in the shoes I'm going to wear for a wedding and fell, spraining my ankle. I'm the Matron of Honor and I can barely walk. The wedding is in three days. FML



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