Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

#18979126
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (5473)

On 02/02/2012 at 8:02pm - love - by lillymean (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23652) - you deserved it (6112)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

#718
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23649) - you deserved it (2804)

On 01/06/2009 at 6:58am - love - by musamalia - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML

#18958245
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23646) - you deserved it (2116)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:12am - work - by chubbyreddevil - United States

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

#14894190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23645) - you deserved it (5120)

On 02/08/2011 at 9:46am - health - by mmromig - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

#1303608
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (55788)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by fml (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML

#7370561
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (8021)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Indiana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML

#13147361
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (15371)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Laura - United States

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML

#19566748
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23643) - you deserved it (3280)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:39am - love - by homealone (man) - Canada

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

#8169467
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (4295)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:34pm - health - by justmyluck - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

#14319406
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (4785)

On 12/24/2010 at 2:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

#17845836
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (3238)

On 09/27/2011 at 4:28am - health - by toughbf (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: