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Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20621) - you deserved it (38077)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

#8875274
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20620) - you deserved it (1796)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

#20098355
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20619) - you deserved it (3829)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anna - United States (Tennessee)

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

#14537773
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (4975)

On 01/10/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML

#6695498
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (11671)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by NotHauteCouture (woman) - United States

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20609) - you deserved it (7025)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (9699)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

#19225170
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (1722)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:37am - work - by dragynfyre - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

#6192333
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (8692)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:47am - intimacy - by forewhatnow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

#13056809
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (7822)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:24am - work - by clumsyandhungry (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20603) - you deserved it (7527)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML



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