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Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21020) - you deserved it (4804)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21020) - you deserved it (35924)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21020) - you deserved it (11882)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

#14849029
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (8784)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (1868)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

#6891757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (2281)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by omgboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML

#20054655
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (2281)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia

Today, the alarm clock downstairs has been going off since 3am. The apartment belongs to two other students. They've gone home. Only 3 more days left to go. FML

#14449121
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (1882)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21009) - you deserved it (29913)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

#20122351
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (1519)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:41am - animals - by Annonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my extremely loud and nocturnal flatmate phoned me to tell me excitedly that he got an accordion for his birthday. FML

#8994510
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21006) - you deserved it (2352)

On 03/11/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hillingdon)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. I also found out that my best friend knew about it all along. When I confronted him, he tried to justify the betrayal by saying that she paid him to keep quiet. FML

#20000479
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (1540)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by gng2fckngkilluyoufckngfckr (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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