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Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22920) - you deserved it (7863)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML

#19037206
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22919) - you deserved it (1864)

On 02/09/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by truth - United States

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

#466
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22918) - you deserved it (3486)

On 12/08/2008 at 2:26am - love - by Numou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22916) - you deserved it (5159)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

#17729862
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22916) - you deserved it (9696)

On 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm - misc - by justhereforlaughs (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

#8130787
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22914) - you deserved it (5659)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by tammyg - United States

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22914) - you deserved it (15186)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML

#21343763
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (1606)

On 01/25/2015 at 12:01am - misc - by Earplugged (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

#7518745
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (3046)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my boyfriend advice on apartment hunting - as we were planning to move in with each other. He told me that there is no way he can afford to move out of his parents' house anytime soon. He can, however, afford a collection of belt-fed automatic nerf guns. FML

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22912) - you deserved it (10947)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

#18095179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22911) - you deserved it (2257)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:50am - misc - by -__- - Australia (Queensland)

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

#17735426
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22911) - you deserved it (3618)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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Wednesday 28 January 2015

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