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Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

#7899176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (4062)

On 02/05/2010 at 3:23am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (3968)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML

#6887241
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (8364)

On 12/22/2009 at 4:54pm - money - by DumbLackofLuck (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to visit my mother after many years. Her hoarding has gotten so bad that now the house is entirely filled with junk and garbage, and she is camping out in the jungle of a backyard, cooking on a cauldron over a fire and shitting in the compost pile, with no working heat or water. FML

#21431843
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (2083)

On 06/25/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by childofcrazy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML

#21429443
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (1606)

On 06/21/2015 at 9:29am - misc - by cwell88 (man) -

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

#12226280
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (6435)

On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I came back from vacation to find a packet on the company's stress management programs on my desk. I was sent the same packet over my vacation. I got the same packet from my boss as I left. All because I snapped at a co-worker who was throwing a tantrum over the Star Wars trailer. FML

#21347776
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (3615)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Darth Binks (man) - Canada

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (4501)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML

#15720068
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26207) - you deserved it (9819)

On 04/10/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Monique - United States (Texas)

Today, I still have the bronchitis and the stomach flu that I suffered through all weekend. Today was to be the day I had my bachelorette party and wedding shower. I had to call both of them off. FML

#19264190
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (2162)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (6429)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called 15 times by a "good redneck boy" that my Mom is trying to set me up with. He has called me at least 5 times a day for the past week. My Mom is still encouraging him to call. I had to unplug the phone because I feel stalked in my own dorm. FML

#13776562
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (2633)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by snitcheyes (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26203) - you deserved it (6542)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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