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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

#7275776
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24022) - you deserved it (3175)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by wrecked (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24018) - you deserved it (3547)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (14509)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

#14494219
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (2670)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:11am - work - by dibman (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

#19601147
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24015) - you deserved it (9965)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24015) - you deserved it (50989)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (2358)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML

#14267759
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (5080)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Me -

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

#1919
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (1669)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24012) - you deserved it (5904)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

#13759888
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24012) - you deserved it (10644)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24009) - you deserved it (4663)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

#9093072
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (4432)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:51am - money - by Fridaythe12th (woman) - United States (California)



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