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Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

by Dammit... / 11/19/2010 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

by Nomoresandwish / 11/29/2009 at 3:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was floating on a river with some friends when I accidentally splashed one of their girlfriends in the face. She started crying and everyone gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the trip. We are all 26 years old. FML

by nightwalker2253 / 11/16/2015 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

by EdgardoP / 06/26/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

by carsuck / 11/11/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

by Socarates / 02/18/2011 at 4:07pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Transportation

Today, I found my boyfriend passed out on the floor. Then I passed out, due to anxiety of seeing him passed out. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 9:15am / United States / Health

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

by kirstyrd / 08/12/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML

by SadBride / 09/07/2015 at 8:39pm / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids