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Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

by C2 / 01/17/2009 at 6:17pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

by cakehater / 08/21/2011 at 3:35am / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2015 at 4:46am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Transportation

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

by Dammit... / 11/19/2010 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor was having work done in his apartment, and he'd warned me that there might be some noise. Yes, there was, what with all the town's firemen in the building after he'd ruptured the main gas pipe. FML

by Jolabanane / 05/21/2015 at 7:51am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a panic attack so I went to my mum for support. She blocked her ears because my heavy breathing was annoying her. FML

by thebiteof87 / 06/01/2015 at 8:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

by SMRT / 01/13/2010 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

by Socarates / 02/18/2011 at 4:07pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Transportation

Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was floating on a river with some friends when I accidentally splashed one of their girlfriends in the face. She started crying and everyone gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the trip. We are all 26 years old. FML

by nightwalker2253 / 11/16/2015 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

by Nomoresandwish / 11/29/2009 at 3:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous